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A General Note on My Lack of Postings Here and on UOHomeDecor.com

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I haven't made this public yet on my website or on the Facebook page, but will be posting here first.

Before the castle decorating contest launched we knew my husband was going to have surgery to remove an aggressive cancerous tumor from his right ureter. It resulted in the loss of his right kidney as well. This all happened May 26 and in theory, removal of the offending bits would have solved the problem and everything would be hunky dory just minus a kidney and a tumor.

Life had other plans.

Two weeks after the surgery my husband was back in the hospital with a variety of issues which turned out to be "multiple lesions throughout the brain, too many to count." It was also in his lungs and potentially more elsewhere. They biopsied what was in the lungs and it turned out to be melanoma. Further tests later revealed the original tumor that was removed was also melanoma. Tests eventually showed it was a rare mutation not normally found in healthy individuals.

Today marks two months post diagnosis. My husband is 42. I'm turning 36 in a few days. During the last two months they have completed 14 treatments of whole brain radiation, started immunotherapy drugs and are trying to control the cancer as best as possible. Without treatment he had less than two weeks to live. With treatment, less than six months. With the immunotherapy treatments he may have longer, but how much longer is an uncertainty. 

To say the last two month have been chaotic would be an understatement. We have all the legal stuff done (will, living will, advanced medical directives, etc.). We are applying for disability, etc. for him while I continue to work full time and freelance.

Needless to say, my websites, including UOHomeDecor, UOForums and others, have understandably been pushed to the side while we deal with the more immediate issues and try to spend more quality time with him in what time he has left.

I just wanted to give an explanation of what's going on since it looks like I'm flaky right now (and I am.)


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I completely understand the need to focus on your husband and do everything possible to get the most out of whatever time you can get. We recently lost our oldest daughter to an extremely aggressive form of colon cancer, she was only 51.  Unfortunately, immuno-therapy was not an option for her. If it had been she might have had more than 4 months, and it might have been with a better quality of life. I'm praying for the immuno-therapy to work well for your husband. *HUGS*

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

So very sorry to hear this.  I've been through this with my mother and to a degree with my husband.  Sending good thoughts your way!  I love your UOHomeDecor site and just wanted to express how much I still refer to your site and my hopes for a good outcome on what you and your family are going through.  

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Unfortunately, the doctors have made it very clear there won't be a good outcome to this. All we can hope for is that when it decides to no longer be controlled by the drugs that it is quick and relatively painless - or less painful than he's been in off and on. It sucks, but it's something all of us have come to accept. We know it's going to come, sooner rather than later.


Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot.

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  • 4 months later...

A very quick update as i have little time right now.


My husband was taken to hospice yesterday. We thought expenses were covered, now it's sounding like something may not be due to working with the VA.  We're hoping it gets resolved, but we still have expenses coming in from the previous issues and deductible being reset this year.


Any help is greatly appreciated and as people have asked how they can help in the past, here's a link: https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/822m8n


If you would prefer paypal donations, they can be made via this link: https://paypal.me/GraceSnoke

If you donate, thank you so very much. I don't know if I'll have time to make personal thank yous, but please leave a note as to your forum name so I can when I Have time.

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I know there aren't any words that can alleviate the pain you are going through.  You, your husband, and the rest of your family.  Just know that you have a community here that will help in any way that we can.  Praying for quick and painless relief for all of you, in whichever way He sees fit.

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