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Heer latz! Heer latz!

 

Da Orkiez, un behab ogh da Goi ogh Paxuzg, wylz bi probydin da fuud fur da Ash'zuth yeerz ogh Paxuzg.

 

 

Bekuz dere wylz bi suu mangee arund fur dis ebent, Gak neebs ull ogh latz helb. Klug blah tu Gak dat dere ib nub enuph Ilid eerz fur eberiash dat wylz bi dere. Dis ib werez latz com en.

 

Gak neeb Ilid eers. Ib latz peep angee Ilidz, lat neeb tu clomp demz agh tak demz eerz. Lat cin leeb demz en Paxuzg ur ad da orkie furt.

 

Ib lat ib Ilid, lat shud clomp latzelb agh bryng latz eerz tu Gak.

 

Dat ib ull Gak blah.

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112007pizzann3.png

 

 

In case anyone reading about the upcoming menu for 'Ash'zuth' is now concerned about menu items in general in and around the city of PaxLair (no offense Mayor Ga'kuct, I am sure that the upcoming feast will prove to be... er.. delicious..), I wanted to assure everyone that there are establishments in PaxLair City which do not serve... shall we say, the brethren of our patrons. Please do not boycott restaurants in PaxLair on account of the orc-prepared menu mentioned above!

 

May Wisdom Guide You,

Lenora

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Gak nub blah wud wuz fuud fur da Ash'zuth Yeerz pardee!!!

 

Du lat gruk da orkiez nub eed guud fuud? Orkie wud nub eed lotz ogh dis bubhosh fuud ib demz wud nub guud! Demz nub unlee guud tu eet, demz ib guud fur lat tuu!

 

Bud, sync lat ib kurious, Gak gib latz prebue ogh suum ogh da fuud.

 

Mynewe:

 

Ladeez ogh da Layr clompid phruyt en buul

(Ladies of the Lair fruit salad)

 

Thelurnz blu byrd wid Krymsun Dragun foorg sauze

(Thelorn's chicken with Crimson Dragon's Secret sauce)

 

Sharkuuz katzh ogh da dey

(Sharkuu's Catch of the Day)

 

Mynzkz Meetlooph

(Minsk's Meatloaf)

 

Dryftwuudz Sushee

(Driftwood's Sushi)

 

Kaus tuwir korn

(Chaos Tower Corn)

 

Sekund Chenze Probizuneers Peez

(Second Chance Provisioner's Peas)

 

Juhn Dukez Snaga Treets

(?????)

 

Wynmere Humiez twyze burnid kookeez

(Winmere's Oatmeal Raisin Delites)

 

Zugz rum

(Zogz Rum)

 

Don Mardynz Dandylyon Wyne

(Don Martin's Dandelion Wine)

 

 

Deze ib ull bubhosh fuud! Gak blah wid Klug fur da hole mynewe. Gak ib sur dere ib muur teengiez.

 

Ib latz nub peep sumteeng da latz lyk tu eet da shud bi dere, blah demz tu Gak ur Klug. Mabee demz gid pud un mynewe ib demz bubhosh enuph.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Wynmere Humiez twyze burnid kookeez

(Winmere's Oatmeal Raisin Delites)

ACK! I have to burn them TWICE?! That will make them more lethal for ranged attack weapons. You do realize that will require me to purchase an Illidz oven, since they burn hotter than regular ovens?

 

*adds illidz oven to shopping list*

 

*daydreams*...

*Attacks DarkHawk with twice burnt cookies*

*watches cookies shatter into crumbs*

*hears death cry from DarkHawk*

Detective arrives to investigate DarkHawk's death.

Detective observes the twice burnt cookie crumbs around the corpse and rules that DarkHawk died from overindulgence in twice burnt cookies.

He ate himself to death!

*tries to turn a smug grin into a horrified grimace*

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That will make them more lethal for ranged attack weapons.

 

Latz kookiez ib guud tu eet AGH demz ib guud fur clompin!!! Wud ib muur bubhosh den dat??

 

 

You do realize that will require me to purchase an Illidz oven, since they burn hotter than regular ovens?

 

Lat nub uz Ilid obenz tu kook kookiez. Gak nub reli suur wud Ilid obenz ib guud fur, bud Gak ib purdee suur demz nub cin kook bubhosh fuud.

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  • 3 years later...

OUCH! 4 years later DarkHawk responds to the cookie attack!

 

ACK! I have to burn them TWICE?! That will make them more lethal for ranged attack weapons. You do realize that will require me to purchase an Illidz oven, since they burn hotter than regular ovens?

 

*adds illidz oven to shopping list*

 

*daydreams*...

*Attacks DarkHawk with twice burnt cookies*

*watches cookies shatter into crumbs*

*hears death cry from DarkHawk*

Detective arrives to investigate DarkHawk's death.

Detective observes the twice burnt cookie crumbs around the corpse and rules that DarkHawk died from overindulgence in twice burnt cookies.

He ate himself to death!

*tries to turn a smug grin into a horrified grimace*

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  • 3 months later...

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