Ye Morning Poste

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Hooded Claw - Sounding the Last Poste?

Seems the other Poste writers have all been gagged and kidnapped. But not old Hooded Claw - thems will never catch me! SPring-HeeLLed Jack they calls me over there. So where is the other Poste writers ? Any information write to the Hooded Claw.

Warning to the eight towns of virtue from the royal britannian guard:

Recently the royal britannian guard was set to investigate on the latest developments of the craters, was found out that the crater in Yew and the one of Moonglow started to sparkle of an eeire blue light. Since the first discovery of the crater followed a massive outleash of murderous creatures, topped with the appearance, of the britain crater, of a huge terrible monster, it is advised that the local militias keeps there at least a guard to monitor the developments of the craters to be able to assess in time the possible threat coming from them.

Warning to the town of trinsic from the royal britannian guard:

The royal britannian guard is currently investigating in the city of trinsic about the illicit trade and craftmanship of blackrock pendant, to assess and find the secret organization behind it. Was found out that the meeting place of the shady dealer was right under, or I should say.. over the noses of the local guardsmen, over the mess hall where the guards eat.
The city guards are advised to keep an eye open for shady dealers in there, thieves and the like. also magic users are advised to stay away from the mess hall of the barracks, as well as those sensible to blackrock effects, since there might be blackrock remains in there and might prove dangerous for health. For further questions about the matter contact Ravida.

Blow Up!

Seems the Royal Marksmen led by crazy man-wolf Devante have been at the pyrotechnics again ? blowing up two buildings in Serpents Hold. More and more The Hooded Claw is hearing about fighting from Sosarias Snakeskin capital. It appears the Marksmen want Kaldor and sexy Commander Cal to leave the island due to their involvement in the Vesper and Minoc wars where they sided with the rebels. Serpents Hold was given to Kaldor by Blonde Bombshell Jordan Jurrel over a year ago. At the recent Moot, Jurrel denied that he had sanctioned any actions against Kaldor.

Rumours

What is the Duke's secret problem, we ask ourselves?
Is there some hidden sorrow or enigma that drives him to seek solace and solutions in the aetherial realms?
Following his presence at the tarot reading last week, ostentatiously not consulting the bewitching dreamer Alraune and her cards, we wondered whether there was some matter over which he did not wish to be seen to be concerned.
After all, Ducal distress is not a matter for public airing, lest idle tongues should wag!
However it seems that he slipped away from his duties one evening last week for a private consultation on some matter that we must assume is too delicate to discuss in a public session.
Was the Lady Caroline involved? She was certainly present at the first reading, allowing her sensitive soul to be exposed to the bright light of cartomancy! We cannot tell what trials travail the Ducal heart, but sympathetic readers may make their own guesses!

Rumor has it those pesky brigands are at it again. By at it I mean breaking the law! Apparently they are now dipping their hands into slavery. Word has it that they kidnapped one of the elves of the Trinsic rose and sold the poor girl into slavery!

*letter to the editor*

Dear Poste
I wonder if you can help us pass on a message because we do not know how to tell the Umbra University people this message.
My beloved husband Ultimor and I have been travelling a bit but then there was the Moot in Trinsic and also some other business but we were wondering when it is that the University will be back from its holidays because it is very important to us to get educated and also those clever people might maybe rub some cleverness off on us.
Anyway we wanted to say to that wise and clever Aryala lady that we hope she is well and that she has rested well and also Mr Muldran and Mr Callum and all those other people who have taught us lots of useful and interesting things and the University is very helpful in learning to be educated!
Many thanks.
Cerys Slowtree

Lost and Found:

Lost: Package of expensive cocoa from Nujel'm. If found, please return to:
League of Temperance
c/o Rusty Anchor Inn
Trinsic

Notice

*a poster on the walls in Trinsic*

The Vesperian Tavernkeeper of the Swaggers Called Tammy is hereby banned from the City of Trinsic for seven days until the 27th of November.
She got this ban for her dirty and insulting manners and her attitude to the local guards and citizens.
Hopefully she will use this time to learn to think before speaking and return to Trinsic with better manners

Guard Kaelyn

Events

Lecture: Age of Darkness ? 21 Nov, 22:30Cet Trinsic Counselor Hall

Come and listen to the new appointed Trinsic Teacher Grand Magister Green who will on Tuesday the 21st November at 22:30 CET (9:30 UK) hold his first lecture at the Trinsic Counselor Guild .
He will talk about the Age of Darkness, namely about Mondain, Minax and other menaces..

The lecture is expected to last about an hour and question are welcome.

All children of Trinsic that visit the local classes are required to come and all other people are invited to listen and participate too.

Kaelyn Guard and responsible for Trade in Trinsic

Ye Morning Poste

Urgent News!

I decided to call in the Swaggers for a quick mug of milk,and a chance to speak with the barmaid if she was on duty
As I opened the door,I was taken aback to see none other than Lord Light sat there as large as life!!
Greeting him warmly,it was good ro see his return. Nils Twothumb was inviting Light to take a seat whilst he relayed some news he had .

We all gathered ready to hear,but none of us were prepared for the chilling tale we were about to be told.
Lord Light began by telling us how he had been studying a piece of blackrock and looking into the case of Ricardo.

Suddenly he heard some arcane words spoken behind him and before he fully knew what was happening,his tower was reduced to rubble,all his literature and research notes burnt in the blaze that struck.

Nils asked if he had chance to see who this person was before it all happened.
Light went on to explain it was more a sense of knowing than seeing

"His magic made me feel sick...it was dark and.evil,reaking of death and decay."
"So it could of been anyone", pondered Nils.
"it was no commom man",went on Light,"his hand was cold to the touch,yet he was not dead.He breathed,yet didnt"
Though his words,made little sense , I scribbled furiously as he next spoke of a vision of sorts he had, had.
" I saw a small ciry,that looked like Vesper,Lord British walking through some woods with Lord Blackthorn.
I saw a city become a swamp,and then as I tasted blood I saw the future.

I saw Moonglow,being covered by water,and the walls of luna crumbling....I heard the lands screaming....even the Virtues were thrown into dismay."



Suddenly as though awakening from a dream, he stopped and said he had to leave. He told us his life was in danger and he had seen many things including his own death. My heart was gripped with an icy cold from his words, as I offered him to remain with us and together we would all change this ' vision' and turn the tide of events he believed to be the future.

Speaking clearly now he informed myself,Nils,Erika,kimi and Lance, that his death was not to be for some time. However he would not hide in fear, but face and accept it. Nils remarked how some times seeing the future can be a blessing, and this just went to show others, that if they had pieces of blacktock,doing tests on it could prove fatal.

Lord Light remarked,he thought he had gotten to close to something,though could recall naught but the pain.A pain that would never leave ,so he could not interfere in ' his ' wok anymore,he said he was told. He explained how his companion,Aeron Gend,had found him and tended to him

Once more he became nervous and at this stage Aeron told us they must leave so he could take Lord Light to a safe place,where nne would find.

Lord Light promosed to send regular reports to the Oracle so we would know how he fared and his work.

Aeron opened a portway and bidding us farewell they both stepped through, lost to us for ever it would seem.

So this is my report on the matter as much as I am able to recall from the notes I made.

Regards
Tabbitha
Grandmaster Knights Hospitaller.


Happiness is a Haven Bench!

Peace in the sleepy town of Haven once more was disturbed by hooded people known as “Enforcers”, same who burned down shrine in the past. The Order of Haven, militia led by Darkion engaged them so order was quickly established again, even not without some casualties. Fortunately, with the exception of Grim Reapers, the plague of all Sosarian towns, this was isolated incident after long time, so senior citizens on benches, bank sitters and young people were able to return to their pondering.


Letters

Dear Poste,

I was most intrigued to read the poetry in last Wednesday's issue. I would appreciate it if the person who found the copy of said poem etched into the cave wall could contact me as soon as possible, as I may have information regarding the author.

Calluna

A Comment

Yesterday’s Poste contained an article referring to the “Elf of the Trinsic Rose” – Just to let you know that the Elven Guild occupies more than just the Trinsic Rose and has an entire quarter near to sunny Trinsic. SO not all Elves live in the Trinsic Rose. Thank you.

What Happened Next?

A reader has kindly donated a picture here of a mounted posse preparing to take to the roads and byeways of Sosaria.
What are they up to? Who are they? Answers on a Clockwork Owl delivered letter please.


- Hooded Claw bringing you the snappiest Information!

Ye Morning Poste

Serpent?s Hold Held!
...By Greenskirted Traitors

This week has seen some horrendous mishaps ? only yesterday, on another of my attempted odysseys to Yew, my poor little footsie got rather stuck in the mud and I lost one of my most favourite shoes. It had a simply gorgeous slender heel, with a devilish mix of glitter and a stimulating splash of sequins. I shall have to buy at least a dozen more pairs by the time the week is out to get over my love of that little shoe.

In spite of my plight, it seems that ?Daftie? Devante has earned himself a sob story that maybe even tops my tale of woe. Armed with his trusty bow and hearty pride, he and his merry band of marksmen set off to capture the Kaldorian infested hole of Serpent?s Hold once and for all. Unfortunately for the poor old Captain, he didn?t get permission from Jordan Jurrel (doesn?t he just look dashing in that gleaming armour of his? He could certainly dip his quill in my inkwell any day!) to go ahead with the reckless invasion and, of course, they were a sorry state indeed.

The Kaldorian fleabags, hungry for victory and famous for their rigid ?box? formations and brutish axe waving, were quick to claim this easy battle as theirs. Learning from this predictable outcome, of course, the marksmen then came at the greenskirts once again in a much similar manner and were battered senseless once again. It was at this point that the Captain brought out his most devious tactical plan and? ran into the pointy objects the Kaldorians were holding once again. Oh dear.

Battered and bruised, the marksmen returned home. The Kaldorians, it seems, can keep their rat-infested hell-hole of Serpent?s Hold? at least for now.



Bar Staff Battered!
Frightful happenings in Vesper?

Further shock and dismay! The much loved (by Rebel scumbags and off-duty Loyalists alike) Swaggers Inn in Vesper was broken into most viciously by 4 unidentified suspects. A flustered barmaid was reported to have run off to find some local sober guards ? who was she kidding?

Choosing the proactive method of robbing, the brigands were quick to wound barmaid Becca?s new ?best friend? Hedlyn ap Rhyn and also Tom Black. Considering this as a little too peaceful for their liking, Hanse?s Niece Lotnya Davion was smacked violently as an afterthought. Happiy, Rebecca ran off and left her chums to bleed alone, so at least one barmaid?s left to serve the drinks!

A reward of 10, 000 coins has been offered to any local vigilantes and mercenaries who can bring the suspects to the Vesperian jail, although the preferred vital condition of the suspects was not specified. According to Rebecca, who is offering the reward, the dastardly robbers looked a little bit like..well?:

I don?t know about you, dear readers, but that ?orc? look just makes me swoon! If you?re approached by any of these individuals, please refrain from running away in terror ? smack ?em over the head with a frying pan and drag them to jail!






Rumours


It?s been mentioned so often lately that it has to be published. Don?t you think the Duchy Guard of Trinsic are just the most benevolent and delightful force ever to grace the land of Sosaria? We certainly think so, and we give extra special notice to the lovely Kaelyn, who has promised so kind-heartedly to let the Poste Office stay in Trinsic despite its overwhelming debt. Of course, donations are always welcome!





Lovely Duchy Notices


Banned from Duchy Lands

Name: Dabu
Gender: Male
Race: Orc
Skin: sickly green
Hair: none
Description: Looks and smells like an Orc and also cannot talk proper Britannian
Weapon: some swords or crude bones
Last seen wearing: Leather armor and some ghastly animal Helmet
Accused of: Assault, thievery, kidnapping, robbery
Description: Dabu was partly responsible of the kidnapping of Ruadnit Troi. Also he was responsible for several robbings and assaults in the Duchy.

For all these crimes he is not allowed on Duchy lands and can and should be be slain by anyone that meets him on Duchy grounds.



Warrant

Name: Thaur Macil
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Skin: Light
Hair: Black
Description: Large man with dark long hair and beard. Normally shows bad manners and not too much intelligence
Last seen wearing: Dark leather armour, red doublet, sandals.
Weapon: Crossbow
Accused of: He is wanted for questioning regarding the prison break of the man called Kurt or Quasim

Description: When we arrested the man that had assisted in kidnapping Miss Troi, Thaur was eager to help and defend him. As that man escaped from the jail, Thaur surely knows more about that man and is needed for interrogation.


Warrant

Name: Kurt, alias Quasim
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Skin: Dark
Hair: White
Description: A man of average height and stature. He has black short hair and a quite sortly trimmed black beard
Last seen wearing: Dark leather armour, a red bandana
Weapon: unknown
Accused of: Kidnapping Lady Troi, escaping from prison






Whats on?


We've not been invited to anything! Please, send invitations, general notices and all manner of event notices our way. We'll be sure to tell everyone about it!

Ye Morning Poste

Redfield's at it again!

Posing as a man named Roger; Vincent 'too good for words' Redfield entered The Haven Weapon's-Master tournament yesterday turning the end of the event into riot. The Covian recently at war with Haven disguised himself to infiltrate the tournament held within Haven.
After defeating all opponents he was forced to remove his disguise and reveal his identity which naturally caused Lady's to scream and Gents to swear! Of course your dear reporter who at the moment is so very much admiring her new Office plaque, managed to sneak after Vincent Red and Darkion was he reluctantly went to hand over the cash prize. I was sadly disappointed that he actually handed it over and didn't throttle the red headed brute, however thats the way it goes. Sometimes life can be cruel.

Attack in Haven

Last night a young lady attempted to rob the First Bank of Haven. It appears that one of the Haven militia, a promising lad named Matthew, we believe, was knocked out when he went to investigate the cries of the banker. The young lady was a lure, and her accomplice jumped out from the shadows to attack him.
The bodyguard of General Darkion, Miss Eodwyn Danuril, came to the aid of her fallen comrade, but was herself overcome by the criminals.
Fortunately neither of the two militia was fatally injured, but both required the services of healers before they could return to duty.
It is a crying shame that this assault was carried out on patriotic and public-spirited militia after they were already tired from taking part in the tornament earlier in the evening. It is typical of the cowardly ways of criminals that they wait until the upholders of freedom and order are wearied by their efforts in the public good before attacking. Some might say when they are caught they should be locked up and the keys thrown away!



Rumours

Raiden Morana Grenadier Corporal in Cove has been sighted prancing around a little more than merrily with recruit Bev.. or was it Mev? Oh whatever! Though according to my sources he is already dating Mrs.Disapperance Amy Marstella. Kick in the teeth.

Covian Raiden Morana deemed not handsome by public opinion. Thank you.


Letters

Not a whine or a cry.


Adverts

Nothing at all..


Whats on?

University Night: Necromancy - Sunday 8:00PM GMT

Ye Morning Poste

All's Well?
Post-Moot-Glow starting to wane?

It has been a couple of weeks, and everyone's favourite intermittent rag-writer has noticed that love may have been in the air once upon a time, but tight now? Well, it's feeling a little loveless. Darlings, we had it all. Cakes. Parties. Cal Soulshadow in a dress. But no, we had to blow it all and dive down into the doldrums. Once more, the heave-ho and to-and-fro of daily life is starting to drag us down into the bitter, closed off angry little people that we are.

There's still trouble brewing on Serpents Hold (but then again, since many of the Yewish commanders chose not to mix with the peasants and posh-ones of the Moot, your disappointed reporter assumes they didn't want to give peace a chance anyway.) There's rumours of nastiness from within Trinsic as a cabal of secret troublemakers have apparently set up shop there to distract Commander Jurrel.

All in all - your darling reporter thinks that she's probably better off going for a little lie down until the next moot comes round; or at least until some other society woman throws a fancy bash.


Blackrock Menace Grows
The Poste asks: Should Blackrock be Reclassified?

Moving from realms of rumour into the lands of reality are several reports that have been bouncing around the lands in the last two days. Apparently, swarms of strange, black-speckled creatures have been sweeping from popular mining locations in the Lost Lands. Add that to the reports the Poste is now receiving word that people are being able to mine up large chunks of blackrock... Your worried reporter recalls that only a small amount of this substance has been known to cause internal combustion to the extent of throwing limbs through walls. What could a large chunk do?

The magical community is in a frenzy; many mages are employing miners of varying reliability to hazard their lives, and then paying them handsomely when they bring back their jumbo-sized chunks.

However a few other mages have been paying out sums to angry widows.

There is also division, however. Former supporter of Blackrock experimentation Muldran Skully has become noticeably greener around the gills (even under that hair) and was seen nipping into Trinsic the other night looking vaguely unsettled. Withdrawing something from the bank, and mumbling a few words about "Upset stomach" or possibly "Demonic Infestation", Skully withdrew, glancing fearfully at a band of happy mages crowing over their latest acquisition.

With demonstrations expected due to the Ruling Council's inability to do anything to protect the populace from this growing menace, the Poste sees a troubled time ahead for the central authority of the lands.


Letters

Dear Poste,

I'm a source close to Grenadier Corporal Morana and I must protest as to the light your rumour-mongering reporter has painted this Covian hero!

Just because this chiseld and brutishly handsome fellow has taken on a cutie of an apprentice and the tongues start wagging!

I must also strongly protest to the word prance and grenadier being used in the same paragraph let alone sentence.

Yours a very disgruntled,

Rai *scribbles out* Reader!


Adverts & Notices


What's on?

Tonight - Sunday - 8:00pm - Umbra University
Tonights Lecture: Necromantic Arts. As requested at the Trinsic Moot, a discussion on modern Necromancy, and how it does not automatically equal evil.

Know of anything else happening? Let the Poste announce it to all and sundry! Or Monday, or Tuesday!

Ye Morning Poste

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[The news as contained in this post you can take as IC knowledge. However any posts it links to are purely OOC information, unless you happen to have a good explanation why you would know about them IC.]

From the shaken but not stirrred Hooded CLaw.

Umbra Univeristy a Hit



The lecture last night was given by no less a personage than the University's hostess, Lady Aryala, on the subject of the necromantic order of Umbra, its history and philosophy.

Apart from the usual collection of seekers of knowledge shady characters crept in to doze on the benches, the University welcomed Trinsic's guard captain Kaelyn. Since she has also been organising lessons for the children of Trinsic, this young lady shows a sympathy for learning unusual in one of her calling.

The lecture covered a great deal of ground, but the speaker refuted the commonly held idea that death is a force in itself. She stated that her order collaborates with consenting spirits who willingly cooperate in return for continued access to the material world.

Once again the audience were enlightened and enriched by the experience, and retired afterwards to the bar to be refreshed by the excellent selection of beverages kept by Thorpe the barkeeper.

It is to be hoped that Kaelyn is not the only person in the major cities who is willing to suspend their prejudices and risk learning something that might challenge them!

Big Hole Appears at Yew Sheep Pen!

The sheep in the Yew sheep pen could fall in this huge new hole!



Anyone with new information please let us know!

[thanks to alfake for the picture]


The Battle of the BlackRock Elementals



[thanks to Cat of Europa for the picture]

I have yet to receive a full report on this but from the eye-witness accounts mention ?carnage? ?mutilation? ?despair? and an awful lot of earth was eaten by many a brave adventurer.

Lady Flame made a call to arms and many heeded her call ? despite their differences and for the glory of Soaria they came , they fought and they fell to these new invincible fighting machines. Rumor has it a new assault will be tried soon.

We will try and bring you more news as it happens.

The Citizens of Yew

The citizens of Yew welcome you all to our first Ale Festival and market! It is held in the centre of Yew once a year. There is a wide selection of beer/ale/wine stands available and also many other stands such as blacksmiths, tailors, alchemist and much much more! Invite you all along to our first ale festival and market. Located in the centre of Yew, Trammel, we offer a vast selection of quality ales and wines along with many different stalls. If you are after some new armour! then head to Yew! If your after a new dress! then head to Yew! we have literally everything you need!
Next Festival Will Be On - Sunday 9th of December at 8pm GMT

Ye Morning Poste

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[The news as contained in this post you can take as IC knowledge. However any posts it links to are purely OOC information, unless you happen to have a good explanation why you would know about them IC.]

From the Balck Rock Obsessed Hooded CLaw.


Serpents Hold

Recently this reporter has steered clear of Serpents Hold ? the Kaldorian stronghold ? as rumours abound of fighting there between the Kaldorians and the Royal Marksmen. It seems that Kaldor, famed for its fighting prowess has managed to withstand a few attacks by the Marksmen who have suffered quite a mauling. Attacking men in skirts is never wise Devante ?

Trinsic Tales

A brigand was seen in and around the moongate area near the City of Trinsic recently and Kaelyn ? the Duchys finest ? was almost on his tail when he fled into the moongate. The Trinsic Rose continues to thrive and the legendary Elf hospitality has made it a warm welcome for all.

Lonely Heart?

Is Kain Twothumb seriously still alone? Rumours about his wife Taenu Ver have been rife across the lands. Has she fallen under the spell of some long lost necromancer or has she been kidnapped by one of Vesper?s own? Surely a man such as Kain should have a wife at his side to help him ? and in Taenu he did have someone very strong and very sensible. Hopefully Kain will find his wife soon alive and well.

Wheres She Gone?

Phaedra Quaintly sister of beloved big busted bonkers bright-eyed busty broad Gwyn Quaintly is also still missing. Presumably she?s having a whale of a party somewhere with lover boy and ex Darkcloak Venom ?Im going to scare you to death boy? D?Orsay

Muldrans Madness?

A trip out with Sosarias band of fearsome adventurers and scholars is planned tomorrow night. The elusive and misunderstood Shadow Court is delving deep into the dirt in search of something ? rumour has it they are planning their biggest Arcane ritual next and need fearless cannon-fodder to keep their mages safe whilst they carry out the necessary deed.

Callum in a Cave?

Sighted entering a cave to the lost lands was red-haired drama queen callum Fitzhugh in the company of green-haired foppish dandy Muldran and those sensible Knights Hospitaller Tabbitha, Kismet La Rue and Thom.

?It was something to do with time travel and gates? a Vesperian onlooker told us later. ?He said he wanted to chuck it all in Nokmor Gate? or something like that? Shadow Court ? heros or villains?

Rumours

Stopping first at Cove it seems that their shoving anyone with an Officer's badge nowa days as most have a bad case of either 'Man lover-i-tis' or depression! According to my most reliable sources their Officers will cry at the drop of a flower. Over sensitive, huh? Nevertheless entertaining so if your bored and want to pass time grab a box of tissues and head to Cove to listen to their somber storys of how their loved ones have disappeared or want them dead.

And where is their beloved Baron recently? As far as I've heard handsome hunk Vince Valentine has been taking over their promotions parades instead of Octiovus! What with Tabbitha pushing the weight of the yearly Winter Festival on the Covian's shoulders you would think he would at least throw a few plates and forks in her direction.

Letters

Dear Rai-Reader,

Thank you very much for your concerned letter regarding Raiden Morana! However sweet-pea I only use information which is accurate so I do believe in such a case you are wrong. As for using the word 'prance' and 'Grenadier' in the same sentence - Oh, i'm sorry petal in future I will use something more appropriate like 'skipped' or 'frolicked'. Do keep writing in though as a poste addition without someone moaning is like like pancakes without syrup!

Sosoria's Favourite Reporter,
Polly Patterson.

Adverts

Looking for work and no where else to go? Handy with a quill? Then you've found the right place, us poste writers see and hear about all! We get to trudge through the trenches of war and patrol across marsh lands (Yuck!). Interested? I would be too - Send a note addressed to Polly Patterson in the direction of the Morning Poste Offices and she'll have her crow peck you on the nose as soon as humanly possible.

Ye Morning Poste

Late Edition

Deadline for this is tonight:

Ye Morning Poste

Devante Flogged!
Marksmen Captain joins in bizarre Kaldorian customs?

That?s right; I might as well just have reprinted last week?s article about the Bow-twanging boys and their embarrassing defeat in Serpent?s Hold. But no, not on Miss Hearsay?s watch! Instead, I shall share with you another gruelling story; a story of broken bows, broken hearts and broken nails.

It was a chilly night and I?m sure the Kaldorian army were finally seeing why kilts were such a daft idea after all. Nevertheless, the mercilessly mean Commander Soulshadow led her troops around, hoping to find the anticipated Marksmen unit intent on liberating the Kaldorian controlled town.

What followed was a most terrifying and gruesome affair, with lots of bashing and not much volleying. When my terrified little onlooker opened their eyes, all that could be seen was a neatly stacked pile of comatose Marksmen bodies, along with their Captain, who was dragged off by Kaldorian Sergeant Mordred. After what could only be described as a firm warning, the severely disheartened Devante was duly flogged ? although whether this was meant as a punishment or because the Captain wanted to try something new remains a mystery.

Will our brave (if utterly incompetent) loyalist boys ever recapture what is rightfully theirs? The Kaldorians seem to remain a right silly nuisance ? one which must be properly dealt with before the Rebel horde is truly flattened.


[Oh goody - a contribution to the Poste! Thank you kindly, mystery scribbler!]

Yewish Militia March On A Brigand Fort!
Hostilities break out in Yew!

Last eve one of our contacts was witness to a clash between the Yew Militia and a gang of brigands! The militia, apparently fed up with hearing reports from the citizens of yew about brigands robbing this and mugging that, decided enough was enough. The militia gathered in force with the Britannia guards and marched on the brigand lands! Once the loyalist alliance found the brigand fort all hell broke loose. The battle was bloody and after the first charge by the loyalists the brigands were pushed back inside their fort. On the second charge both sides took heavy losses but all the brigands were finally cut down. Will this be the last of the brigand menace or will they be out for revenge? Can the Yew Militia now rest easy? Only time will tell dear readers!






Rumours


Two Trinsic guards along with some other Trinsic residents..seen offering a poor serf boy as a sacrifice to the Dark Lord, to deter him from entering the city. Fortunately for the boy the Dark Lord is rumoured to have thrown him back saying he smelt a bit off!!

The Blue Meanie has been seen around again, trying to find bits of blackrock for his master, so citizens beware!






Letters to the Editor

Dear poste,
I still have nay received any payment for your buildings yet. As you are quickly falling behind in payments the Duchy reserves the use of your printing machines for posters and such.

We also expect you to consider in your articles that the poste is still open because we nay insist on the full payments at this time and give you time to pay it off.


Kaelyn

[Oh dear me ? how embarrassing! Lady Kaelyn, you are lovely. Truly lovely. I?m sure we can get our funds together soon. In the meantime, have an absolutely brilliant day and be sure to take the time off that you so rightfully deserve! ? H.H.]





Notices from the Lovely Duchy

Wanted

Dexius Brutus

For the delivering of the thug Dexius Brutus to the Trinsic guards, the Duchy offers the reward of 2000 gold.

It is nay necessary to deliver him whole and sound, but he should at least be conscious and certainly be alive.

Description:

Gender: Male
Race: Human
Hair: Light
Last seen wearing: iron plate and chain armor, combined with red clothing
Weapons: Bladed weapons of various types

He is dangerous with his weapons and also quick at running and might be associated with other brigands.

Kaelyn


[Yes! Bag that man! - H.H.]


Bounty

As the Duchy of Trinsic suffers from continued undead attacks these last few weeks, it was decided that for every destroyed undead on Duchy lands the Duchy will pay a bounty of 1000 gold.

To prove that an undead has been destroyed, collect its bones and show it to a guard who will check the rests and then dispose of them.

Kaelyn


[Yes! Bag those bones! - H.H.]




Adverts

Found in Trinsic on Thursday: an old wristwatch which Natalie the guard has in safekeeping. Please see her to get it back. Proof of ownership will be required.

Ye Morning Poste

Chestnuts Roasting.
Cruel and Unusual Punishments Planned for the Holiday Season?

It's that time of the year when the Yuletide Trees get lit up, when snowmen and reindeer can be seen. When every person's thought turns to how much they're getting, and from whom (and for certain guards how little they're getting, and how much it has to do with the frequency of bathing.) Your festive reporter has been ringing her little bells and has come up with some predictions for things we'll be seeing across Britannia over the coming wintry weeks.

- Irvyn announces a lavish Christmas party, where he declares his undying love for Guardswomen Kaelyn, and promptly marries her, bringing forth a new age of prosperity for Trisnic

- Various Brigands reinvent themselves as odd-job-men, and start fixing shoes, and leaving little gifts for the sad and unhappy children of Vesper.

- Baron Twothumb wakes up to be confronted by three spectres, who show him his past, present and future, in an effort to show him the error of his ways. They do so. He kills them. Life goes on.

- Several new laws passed throughout the land; people committing dangerous deeds (such as leading Dragons through town, holding powerful and dangerous weapons, etc.) find themselves tortured in appropriate manners. Said punishments abandoned after a chestnut seller short-changes his customers, and several drow ironically ask for... well, you can guess the rest.

- Mage Muldran Skully announces that he is forming another expedition, and sends word for groups of people to bring him the following ingredients: Twelve lords a-leaping, eleven ladies dancing, ten pipers piping, nine drummers drumming, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. The Shadow Court rebels, and seals him in a small room for the next 323 years.

Your prescient reporter thanks her newly employed Tarot Reader Davina McYell for her insight into the future happenings, and guarantees all events will take place by 7th January.*

(*This guarantee is not enforceable in any court of law.)


[b]Picture Supplement

Another in the irregular artwork series as received by the Poste this morning. It made your darling reporter feel a bit morose, actually...


Letters

This missive was found slipped under the office door. It wasn't addressed to the Poste - but we're not the Poste Office - so let's print it.

To the staff at Swaggers Inn

Dear All.

Reports have just come to me from various sources and I just hope they are true. You see I heard the Von?Sah were in Trinsic last night, trying to throw their weight around. Seems your little Tammy got quite upset about that and gave the mouthy drow are right thrashing. The one she beat up so easily was identified as none other than Kalannar and Moiraine?s adopted daughter. Now if the fragrant Moiraine is to believed, her family just does not do that sort of thing.

Anyway seems they did not learn their lesson the first time and had a second go. This time two females got nice and beat up by your staff. A third one, described as an ugly male with one eye, (can only be Jaraxle Von?Sah) fled like a scalded cat. Ah well cannot always have a perfect outcome.

Still it surprised me that they actually wanted to cause trouble, since their usual protectors, the Duchy guards, were nowhere to be seen. Must have surprised you too, since they never do anything unless its from under Moiraine?s skirt.

So my heartfelt congratulations to the staff involved. It made me laugh so much when I heard that I nearly had a little accident. In fact it pleased me so much that if you are holding a collection for some orphanage or other, I would only be too pleased to send you a sizeable donation.

Thank you again.

Vierna Hun?ett
2nd daughter to House Hun?ett


What's on?

Tonight - Sunday - 8:00pm - Umbra University
Tonights Lecture: Concerning Montor.

Tuesday 5th December - 8pm - Performing Arts Centre, Jhelom
A Discussion on the Virtue of Valor

Know of anything else happening? Let the Poste announce it to all and sundry! Or Monday, or Tuesday!