you're welcome, and thank you for reading them

The following parable, was written down by the medieval German teacher of ethics, Rabbi Judah ben Asher (1270-1349)

A wise man was asked: "Why is it that we see you always honoring every man you meet?" ... He replied:

"I have not yet seen the man in whom I did not discover some merit I do not possess and for which I feel bound to do him honor ... it's like this:

• If he is old, I say, 'This man must have performed more good deeds than I.'
  
• If he is rich, I say, 'This man undoubtedly practiced more benevolence than I.'
  
• If he is young, I say, 'I must have sinned more than he.'
  
• If he is poor, I say, 'This man certainly must have suffered more than I.'
  
• And if he is wise, I say, 'Surely, God's punishment rests lighter on him than on me.'

Therefore, as you can see, I am required to honor everyone I meet."

As I have come to expect from you: Excellence!

We tend to take life seriously… all the problems, challenges, crises… all of these seem to be like life and death situations, and in some cases they are. Yet as Shakespeare told us years ago, all the world is a stage, and we are all players or actors upon this earth.

I agree with Shakespeare that we are all acting in a huge play, yet this play has no script. It is strictly an improvisation. We make up the lines as we go. We also can make up our character as we go. Some days we play the villain, others the lover. Some days we play a character consumed by anger and fear, other days we are kind and considerate. Some days we play the stressed out family member, other days the casual relaxed neighbor.

Perhaps if we saw our daily actions and interactions as simply participating in improv theater, we might become less mired in actions, reactions, habits and attitudes. After all, in improvisational theater, while there is a main theme to the play (as there is in the play called "Life on Earth"), all actors are free to make up their role as they go along. Each response from another actor can send the whole play careening in a new direction, with all the other actors making up their responses as they go along.

And isn’t that how our life is? We may be going along peacefully, and then someone "throws us a curve" (an insulting, angered or biting comment), and then we’re off in another direction. We no longer are playing "peaceful and content", but suddenly we are playing the role of the victim, the one who is wounded, hurt, angry and resentful, etc. Yet, if we see this whole life as a improvisational play, then we can also see that we have a choice in our response. Even though someone insults us or barrages us with anger, we still can respond in whatever way we choose.

And there is the key. Choosing. When we’re in a play, we don’t usually get "caught up" in believing we are the character. We are always somewhat conscious of the actor being separate from the role being played. That leaves some distance between the cause and effect, so to speak. But in "real life", we have identified with our role, thus making it harder to keep a distance from the emotional reactions.

We get caught up in the melodrama of our lives, and forget that the "world’s a stage". We do the same thing when we go to movies – we get caught up in the scenario, holding our breath in the tense moments, crying in the sad scenes, feeling anger at the villain, and generally "believing" the story while we are watching it. However, in cases where the movie is not produced as well, we tend to remain disassociated with the movie… never losing sight that it’s a movie, and we see the cracks in the script, never really getting caught up in it.

Well, if anything, our life definitely has cracks in the script, yet we are fully caught up in believing it. So what role are we playing? Is our role fixed? Can we switch character traits along the way?

One thing that we’ve been told through the ages is that we have free will. We have the power to make our own choices. And, if the world’s a stage, then we have free will in choosing our roles and how to play them. No one is forcing us to play the bully, the "poor-me" victim, the downtrodden, etc. These are roles we’ve adopted. True, our environment and our upbringing may have encouraged us to take certain roles, but we always have the choice of saying no. We always have a choice of saying to the director of the play (that’s us), hey, I’ve had it with this role. I don’t want to play this part anymore. I’m going to play the part of the hero, not the victim. I’m going to play the part of the person who’s in charge of their life. I don’t like this role I’ve been playing. I’m rewriting the script and changing roles.

Changing roles is something we do constantly, though often without really noticing. With our children we are the parent: sometimes strict, mostly responsible, and to be relied upon. With co-workers, we may be a procrastinator, a slouch, or the over-eager beaver. With friends, we may be the clown. With strangers, we may be the extrovert, or the introvert. Any time we meet someone new, we choose what role we play. Oftentimes that choice is based on the other person’s behavior – if they act like a bully, we may stand up and speak out, or we may decide to step back. With someone who is shy and afraid, we may become somewhat of a bigger sister or brother, or we may become shy as well.

Each situation, each encounter, each moment presents us with a choice. Which role will be play? Teacher, student, rebel, counselor, bully, introvert, rage-aholic, greedy, generous, peaceful, angry, etc. Changing roles can be easier than changing our clothing, since all it takes is a change of perception, of attitude. It does however, need a willingness to be aware of the roles we play as we go along.

Remember the whole world’s a stage… which role will you play? You can’t stand in the sidelines and watch, because that too is a role. You’re playing the uninvolved. Yet, if we want to make a difference in our immediate world, and in the planet on which we live, we have a responsibility to choose our roles carefully and with consciousness.

Let’s make this play "Life on Earth" a joyous, light-hearted romance with Life and all its members. There may be a lot of muck to wade through and deal with at first as the other characters adjust to the new script, but, let’s improvise – we can do it. One word, one thought, one action at a time.

So, what’s your part?

Sincerely,
Marie Russell

*Many thanks for the insightful response to the question of ... Why would a person (do, act like, treat others like) this... ?

Posted with permission by Marie T. Russell (Author, teacher and friend)

Quote:

Everybody, sooner or later, sits down to a banquet of consequences. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

A Rebellious Little Bird

There was once a little bird who decided to rebel against tradition, and when it came time to fly south for the winter, he decided to stay behind.

All the other birds flew south for the warmer weather, leaving the rebellious one alone.

Of course, it wasn't long before the little bird discovered he had made a terrible mistake. Winter set in and it became very cold. So, he decided that he had better take off and fly south like his friends.

He started flying, but didn't get very far before the cold north wind began to freeze his wings, and he went plummeting down, down, down ... He fell straight down from the sky, through an open hole in the rooftop of a nearby barn, and directly into a fresh pile of cow dung.

Well, the warmth thawed out his wings, and soon he was feeling fine again. But, as his little head popped out from the smelly dung, along came a cat who plucked him up and ate him.

The morale: Whenever you end up in a pile of DoDo it may not necessarily be a bad thing, and everyone that comes to pull you out of your DoDo may not necessarily be a good thing. Life is about consequences from the choices we make.
~ The Story Bin

Leaving the City of Regret

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip."


I got tickets to fly there on "Wish I Had" airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.

First, there would be the Done family, you know, Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share.

Then Shattered Dreams would surely make and appearance. And It's Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.

Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity party" could be cancelled by "Me!" I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I can't change yesterday, but I do have the power to make today a wonderful day. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? Yes! But there is no physical way to undo them.

So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myselfs and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. God bless you in finding this great town. If you can find it -- it's in your own heart -- please look me up. I live on "I Can Do It" street.

~ Larry Harp, Bedford, Texas - Wisdom From The Road

Being an optimist does not allow us not to do everything that we set out to do. Rather, it enables us to do everything better than when we do it with a pessimistic outlook. Research has shown that with repetition, our vision and daily actions are also influenced, and actions when performed repeatedly with a positive attitude, grow to become a part of us. Thus, if we are always portraying a positive outlook in life, good things will result from it.

It's amazing how easy it is to convince ourselves that we're in control of everything in our lives. When it comes right down to it, what we eventually learn is that we are in control of only two things: our own thoughts, and our own actions. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our spouses, children, friends, employers, etc. But are we really in control? We can plot, manipulate, connive and cajole in order to get our own way, but ultimately the other person makes their own decision. We didn't force anything to happen. We may have encouraged it, but we didn't cause it.

For most of us, our attempts to control the people and situations in our lives don't come from pettiness or greed. Most often, it is pure fear that drives us. If we can't control what our 'loved ones' do, they might hurt us, reject us, betray us or abandon us. Handing our heart to someone on a silver platter is a tremendous act of faith and love. If by chance that heart gets tipped onto the ground and trampled, it's a feeling we don't forget easily. Once we've been betrayed, it is very difficult to trust again. We don't want to experience that sharp pain again, so we try to control the situation and prevent it from happening again. But we cannot control the actions of another, no matter how desperately we might want to.

It's important to differentiate between control and power. Just because we are not in control of our 'loved ones', does not mean we are powerless in our relationships. When something happens that is out of our control, we are then faced with a decision. How do we react to this situation? What do we want to do about it? While we can't control the actions of the other person, we can control our own actions and responses.

That's the problem for many of us, we're trying to control the wrong things.
Remember the Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

If we continuously find ourself struggling with the circumstances of our life, perhaps a little introspection might help us decide if we're trying to change things that are out of our control. If we can shift our focus a little bit and concentrate on the things we are in control of, it can have a domino effect in the other areas of our life.

Release the fear of powerlessness. We are not powerless. We actually have much more power than we realize. Power over our own fears and emotions - which by the way, are usually what gets us into the most trouble. Knowing that we are never truly a victim in our life can be tremendously freeing. Remember that we always have a choice.

Releasing the illusion of control can be frightening, but remember it's truly just an illusion. We are never in control of these things to begin with. We just try to convince ourself that we are. ~ QM

Tricking the Devil

A young man made the following contract with the devil: The devil was to provide the man with money. In return, at a predetermined time the man was to give the devil work that would keep him busy an entire day. If the man were able to do this, then the devil would have given him the money for nothing. If he were not able to do this, then the man would belong to the devil, and the latter would be able to take him away.

It came to pass that the time lapsed just as the man was celebrating his wedding. A boy came up to him and told him that a strange gentleman was outside who wanted to speak with him. The man immediately remembered the devil and did not go. The boy returned and called for him again, but still he did not go.

Then the devil came inside personally and demanded either a task or the man himself. The man showed him a field of clover and told him to mow it. This would have taken a single man several days, but the devil finished it in an instant and demanded another task. Then the man took a bushel of clover seeds, scattered them over the field, and told the devil to gather them back up. It was a simple matter for him, and he was finished in a half hour. The man became terrified when the devil asked for yet another task.

Then the man's bride noticed her husband's concern and said, "What is the matter? Why do you keep running in and out?"

The man confessed everything to her and told her of the danger that he now faced.

The bride said, "I will help you. You should have told me about it earlier!" Plucking out one of her short curly hairs, she gave it to her husband and said, "Take this to the devil and demand that he straighten it!"

The man did this. The devil made an ugly face, then picked and pulled and bent away at the hair. He even placed it on an anvil and tried to pound it straight with a hammer, but it was all for nothing. The devil was not able to complete this task that day. The hair remained curly and crooked, and he was tricked out of his prize.
~ Folktales of Aarne-Thompson, Straightening a Curly Hair

Saved HIS bacon didn't SHE..... There is a lesson or two in that one.

lol I love it! I think only women with bad hair days might get it tho. :-P