Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus... breath... push"

Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

HAHAHA thats good

In mens defence though, not all of us are blank to valentines day. I got me girl some realy expensive nice roses, made her a candle lit dinner, all sort of things. We arnt all bad with that stuff Although.... Last time i got my girl flowers, i got called a groveling tart by some onlookers.... Meh the smile she gave me was worth it

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.


Hilarious.




Ly-Las... groveling tart.

Sorry, had to do it.

Ey!

A real man would have watched some sport or went out with his boys for poker night or to a club.

Then scheduled some elaborate dinner after she gets off of work the following day where she follows a path of rose petals to the bedroom where a new dress awaits and a note informing her which restaurant to meet at, have her favorite dish ordered, chilled wine at the table with her favorite appetizer ready.

Of course, the second part is optional.

The reaction i got out of her with a candle lit dinner i would have been suprised if any previous guys would have even turned an oven on for her before, let alone flowers and dinner

hehe Well in women's defense not all of us what flowers, gift and junk either. hehe At least I don't...it doesn't really excite me....

Gah! I thought i was being romantic and stuff!

God women are confusin!

What do you want? I mean ya know, men aint bright, we need some sort of generic guideline here for women! Queen Mum likes feet, you dont like flowers, god women are wierd....

That is why it is all a waste of time. Let her hint at what she wants and then take action, if you try to surprise her, you will more than likely surprise yourself. Try pop tarts, less confusing....don't mess with ovens.

Right, next romantic meal will be pop tarts then aye....

I give her breakie and coffee in bed every morning, is that good?