· Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.



· Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of Holy Communion.



· Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.



· Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys cumin is a spice and not a bodily function)



· Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.



· Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.



· Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.



· Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don’t forget to pick up something for my mother too.



· Because I'm a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.



· Because I’m a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?



· Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.



This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male.

rofl!
Sadly it seems like a lot of that is true. :-P

All True and another thing it's not up to men to remember Birthdays of anyone but our own.

my personal favorates are the first 2. I know one time I was standing at my car and it was broken, I had no idea in hell what was wrong with my starter, but I figured "I'm an electrician, I can figure it out, I just need to engage the solenoid" I ended up hitting the starter with a hammer and large screwdriver... boom... it started! hehe

Lol that is my ex exactly!

Had a similar discussion once, thinking he didn't need to be doing any house cleaning since it should be my job as the wife. Told em " I'll be that perfect housewife and do all that as soon as he became the perfect provider, I'll quit my job asap!" :shocked: heh he was more then happy to start doing he's share.

So very true..however my man went to the store for milk yesterday...came home with Chips and pop....no milk! lol

ROFL, those are all good. I also had a similiar experience this weekend as Thradia. I sent my hubby out for half and half, hamburger rolls, and ketchup. He came back with the half and half, rolls, a case of beer, 2 bags of chips and MUSTARD. I decided not to say anything until after I'd grilled the burgers and he was rummaging thru the refrigerator searching for the ketchup that didn't seem to exist

HAHA OWNED!

That is horrible, how did he get you back? He did get you back right? If not I need to speak to him.

LOL, he hasn't yet, but I know he will try.

LOL you have to let us know how it turns out.

Let's see, no ketchup in the fridge with burgers...

If I were you I would check your shampoo/conditioner bottles to make sure they still contain shampoo/conditioner, this also goes for lotion and body sprays.