ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or 35, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: ! How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the Bar exam?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 21-year old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's 21.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh......
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, okay? What
school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8.30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on a table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsyy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law.

good stuff, i like the last one the best

hehe

-RMS Carpathia-

*giggles*