Sipping vodka

**Adam** · 8th September 2006, 10:55 AM

Funny stuff.

Quote:

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”

So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1)Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “ Eat me” .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called “ Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

**Adri** · 8th September 2006, 01:29 PM

hahaha*snort*bwahahaha

Damin · 8th September 2006, 01:43 PM

I almost peed myself from laughin

siobhan · 8th September 2006, 01:47 PM

I always loved this joke

**Ezekiel** · 8th September 2006, 03:26 PM

Im Free · 10th September 2006, 01:19 AM

**Tabbitha** · 10th September 2006, 02:57 AM

Thats really funny *grins*

American_Outlaw · 10th September 2006, 10:53 AM

haha thats to funny!

Eowyna Rohanna · 10th September 2006, 10:54 AM

Cerwin Vega · 25th October 2006, 12:56 PM

pretty funny

8th September 2006, 01:29 PM	#2
Adri Wearing metal panties in a lightning storm Join Date: May 2004 Shard: Pacific/Landroval Posts: 3,851 Gold: 920 My Mood: Thanks: 210 Thanked 117 Times in 84 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Re: Sipping vodka hahahasnortbwahahaha We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places. --Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt

8th September 2006, 01:43 PM	#3
Damin Don't Panic! Join Date: Jul 2006 Shard: Atlantic Posts: 499 Gold: 17 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Sipping vodka I almost peed myself from laughin

8th September 2006, 01:47 PM	#4
siobhan Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 224 Gold: 55 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Sipping vodka I always loved this joke

8th September 2006, 03:26 PM	#5
Ezekiel Wycorp--Dwarf Hunter Join Date: Jul 2005 Shard: Area 52 Posts: 2,435 Gold: 94 Thanks: 0 Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts	Re: Sipping vodka lol

10th September 2006, 01:19 AM	#6
Im Free Banned Join Date: May 2006 Shard: Pacific Posts: 247 Gold: 28 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Sipping vodka Lol

10th September 2006, 02:57 AM	#7
Tabbitha Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Shard: Europa/Snowbourn Posts: 6,066 Gold: 69,432 Blog Entries: 6 Thanks: 239 Thanked 321 Times in 197 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Re: Sipping vodka Thats really funny grins

10th September 2006, 10:54 AM	#9
Eowyna Rohanna I may not be the queen of everything, but I'm the duchess of quite a lot Join Date: Jan 2006 Shard: Landroval--LOTRO Posts: 1,497 Gold: 6,927 Thanks: 21 Thanked 28 Times in 18 Posts	Re: Sipping vodka Thanks to Maddux for the wonderful sig!

25th October 2006, 12:56 PM	#10
Cerwin Vega Legendary Pimp Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 273 Gold: 1,084 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Sipping vodka pretty funny

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