Santa is a GIRL!

Ms Nest · 2nd December 2005, 11:48 PM

Santa Is A Girl!

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: Men can't pack a bag. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves. Men don't answer their mail. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously harm their macho image.

Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men... Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance.
~By Rex Alexander~

**Ezekiel** · 3rd December 2005, 12:25 AM

Well, you know what they say about "behind every great man..."

I think that this just means that Santa listens to his wife well...which behooves every married man!

Snowy · 3rd December 2005, 01:01 AM

I just love this one :0)

Sahra Swift · 3rd December 2005, 03:16 AM

For the record... I hate sexists, and you people are really starting to bother me.

Talon · 3rd December 2005, 03:25 AM

i think your first paragraph alone is enough proof the rest of it comfirmes what alot of people think

**Adam** · 3rd December 2005, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sahra Swift

For the record... I hate sexists, and you people are really starting to bother me.

Heh, lighten up abit, it's called a "joke" for a reason.

Sahra Swift · 3rd December 2005, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deimos

Heh, lighten up abit, it's called a "joke" for a reason.

Nobody said jokes can't be sexist, and there's no such thing as a proper time for being sexist, racist, etc - especially not when the generalizations being made aren't even close to being accurate for most of the sex/race/whatever being insulted/discriminated against/etc.

Ms Nest · 3rd December 2005, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sahra Swift

Nobody said jokes can't be sexist, and there's no such thing as a proper time for being sexist, racist, etc - especially not when the generalizations being made aren't even close to being accurate for most of the sex/race/whatever being insulted/discriminated against/etc.

ummmm isn't that the reason it's a joke and not a news report??

Lady Destiny LS · 3rd December 2005, 08:50 PM

You'd think by the title and that it is in the Jokes forum, if you think you might be offended by it, don't read it. Not all jokes are 'clean' or whatever you want to call it...if you don't like it, fine, but don't try and make the rest of us feel bad for finding humor in it.

*this post being made by Cassie...didn't check to see that it was hubby's account on..i'm on wrong computer*

Snowy · 3rd December 2005, 09:03 PM

All the greats in the comedy industry KNOW that the reason things make people laugh is that they poke fun at sacred cows! Lighten up! I guarantee you that one can enjoy a bit of fun without being sexist!

In case you hadn't already been informed... Santa as we know "him" is an imagined person, not a real one. Sorry... guess I should just shut up and remember that some people's skins are thinner than others...

"one of you people' signing off...

2nd December 2005, 11:48 PM	#1
Ms Nest Hottest Paladin Chick Join Date: Apr 2005 Shard: Sonoma Posts: 26 Gold: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Santa is a GIRL! Santa Is A Girl! I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: Men can't pack a bag. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves. Men don't answer their mail. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously harm their macho image. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men... Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. ~By Rex Alexander~

3rd December 2005, 12:25 AM	#2
Ezekiel Wycorp--Dwarf Hunter Join Date: Jul 2005 Shard: Area 52 Posts: 2,504 Gold: 82 Thanks: 0 Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts	Re: Santa is a GIRL! Well, you know what they say about "behind every great man..." I think that this just means that Santa listens to his wife well...which behooves every married man!

3rd December 2005, 01:01 AM	#3
Snowy Pretty Nice Disguise, isn't it? Join Date: Nov 2005 Shard: Lake Superior Posts: 1,135 Gold: 5 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Santa is a GIRL! I just love this one :0) ~ "It's definitely a Bubble Bath Day.". ~ Dove Promise ~

3rd December 2005, 03:16 AM	#4
Sahra Swift UO Stratics Catskills Reporter Join Date: Mar 2005 Shard: Catskills Posts: 74 Gold: 164,226 Thanks: 0 Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts	Re: Santa is a GIRL! For the record... I hate sexists, and you people are really starting to bother me. Sahra Swift, UO Stratics Catskills Reporter (AKA Gildar and Illandril) Interested in KR UI customization? Check out KR Modders Exchange and UOSkins.com

3rd December 2005, 03:25 AM	#5
Talon Offical Cookie Taster Join Date: Nov 2005 Shard: Drachenfels and Europa Posts: 504 Gold: 58 My Mood: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Santa is a GIRL! i think your first paragraph alone is enough proof the rest of it comfirmes what alot of people think

3rd December 2005, 08:50 PM	#9
Lady Destiny LS Born again Newb Join Date: Mar 2005 Shard: Lake Superior Posts: 287 Gold: 53 Thanks: 1 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Santa is a GIRL! You'd think by the title and that it is in the Jokes forum, if you think you might be offended by it, don't read it. Not all jokes are 'clean' or whatever you want to call it...if you don't like it, fine, but don't try and make the rest of us feel bad for finding humor in it. this post being made by Cassie...didn't check to see that it was hubby's account on..i'm on wrong computer

3rd December 2005, 09:03 PM	#10
Snowy Pretty Nice Disguise, isn't it? Join Date: Nov 2005 Shard: Lake Superior Posts: 1,135 Gold: 5 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Santa is a GIRL! All the greats in the comedy industry KNOW that the reason things make people laugh is that they poke fun at sacred cows! Lighten up! I guarantee you that one can enjoy a bit of fun without being sexist! In case you hadn't already been informed... Santa as we know "him" is an imagined person, not a real one. Sorry... guess I should just shut up and remember that some people's skins are thinner than others... "one of you people' signing off... ~ "It's definitely a Bubble Bath Day.". ~ Dove Promise ~

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Nude Santa	Gnomy	Jokes & Stuff	5	27th February 2008 12:37 PM
A little boy wrote to Santa.....	Tor	Jokes & Stuff	1	27th December 2007 02:04 PM
Secret Santa Gift Exchange ...	Queen Mum	Sonoma	12	18th December 2007 02:52 PM
TnF Santa Giveaway	Lady Pandora	Atlantic	4	24th December 2006 03:39 AM
YAY! Santa is on the way ...	Queen Mum	General Discussion	1	26th December 2005 08:16 AM