Ultimate Online Forums
Go Back   Ultimate Online Forums > Off Topic Forums > Off Topic Area > Jokes & Stuff

Jokes & Stuff Jokes, funny stories, flash movies etc go in here.

 
Thread Tools
Old 20th February 2008, 09:35 AM   #1
lklovelykiki24
 
lklovelykiki24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Shard: Lake Superior
Posts: 696
Gold: 2,454
My Mood:
Thanks: 22
Thanked 11 Times in 6 Posts
lklovelykiki24 is unknown
Proof

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten on Christmas."

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, & the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat & brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.

The next day, the old lady went to the store & bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.

Frustrated, she went home, came back & brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.

The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No - you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her.

So, the cashier put her finger into the box & pulled it out & told the little old lady, "That smells like poop." The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy 3 rolls of toilet paper?"

Divider

lklovelykiki24 is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 06:45 AM   #2
Forum LegendAdri
Wearing metal panties in a lightning storm
 
Adri's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Shard: Pacific/Landroval
Posts: 3,755
Gold: 5,599
My Mood:
Thanks: 175
Thanked 92 Times in 65 Posts
Adri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The Estimable

Awards Showcase
Community Spirit Award 1st Place Winner 
Total Awards: 2

Re: Proof

lol!

Divider

We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.
--Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt


Thanks to Atlas for the fantastic sig!
Adri is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 07:07 AM   #3
Forum Legendkingtony
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
kingtony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Shard: alantic
Posts: 2,662
Gold: 141
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
kingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honest
Re: Proof

freakin nasty..lol

Divider

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
kingtony is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 08:12 AM   #4
lklovelykiki24
 
lklovelykiki24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Shard: Lake Superior
Posts: 696
Gold: 2,454
My Mood:
Thanks: 22
Thanked 11 Times in 6 Posts
lklovelykiki24 is unknown
Re: Proof

I really believe the story though well the part about people eating the dog food. True story my cousin use to grab hand fulls of dog food and eat it as snacks. Grossed me out every time blahhh!

When I asked him about it he said that the things that went into dog food were better for you than the things that go in to human food.

Divider

lklovelykiki24 is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 09:01 AM   #5
Forum Legendkingtony
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
kingtony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Shard: alantic
Posts: 2,662
Gold: 141
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
kingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honest
Re: Proof

Quote:
Originally Posted by lklovelykiki24 View Post
I really believe the story though well the part about people eating the dog food. True story my cousin use to grab hand fulls of dog food and eat it as snacks. Grossed me out every time blahhh!

When I asked him about it he said that the things that went into dog food were better for you than the things that go in to human food.
well if that where the case dog food would be expensive ...but even if it is true i rather take my chances at human food

Divider

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.

Last edited by kingtony; 21st February 2008 at 09:10 AM.
kingtony is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 09:08 AM   #6
lklovelykiki24
 
lklovelykiki24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Shard: Lake Superior
Posts: 696
Gold: 2,454
My Mood:
Thanks: 22
Thanked 11 Times in 6 Posts
lklovelykiki24 is unknown
Re: Proof

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingtony View Post
well if that where the cae dog food would be expensive ...but even if it true i rather take my chances at human food
Yeah! Same here This might have nothing to do with all the dog food he ate But he did became a model guess he didn't get enough vitamins to develop his brain

Divider

lklovelykiki24 is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 09:15 AM   #7
Forum Legendkingtony
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
kingtony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Shard: alantic
Posts: 2,662
Gold: 141
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
kingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honest
Re: Proof

i always pictured dog food to taste nasty isn't that why dogs lick there own ballz to take away the dog food taste

Divider

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
kingtony is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 09:18 AM   #8
Arioch
 
Arioch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Shard: Lake Superior
Posts: 487
Gold: 43,477
My Mood:
Thanks: 128
Thanked 66 Times in 40 Posts
Arioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The Dread
Re: Proof

omg i think i just lost my appetite... lol...

this convo could turn really, really nasty real fast, so I will shut up... don't want to be the one to start THAT.

Divider


Lord L'arr Hamerfeld
Arioch is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 09:19 AM   #9
Forum Legendkingtony
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
kingtony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Shard: alantic
Posts: 2,662
Gold: 141
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
kingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honest
Re: Proof

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arioch View Post
omg i think i just lost my appetite... lol...

this convo could turn really, really nasty real fast, so I will shut up... don't want to be the one to start THAT.
i say speak your mind but keep it clean

Divider

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
kingtony is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 21st February 2008, 09:20 AM   #10
Arioch
 
Arioch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Shard: Lake Superior
Posts: 487
Gold: 43,477
My Mood:
Thanks: 128
Thanked 66 Times in 40 Posts
Arioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The DreadArioch The Dread
Re: Proof

that may be the problem... my mind is rarely clean! (or so says my wife)

Divider


Lord L'arr Hamerfeld
Arioch is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
[News] Proof of Elven Aggression PaxLair News PaxLair Statehood In-Char 0 27th April 2007 09:20 PM
UO is Bankrupt!!!! proof inside! killdigdiecat Ultima Online General Discussion 11 29th March 2006 12:20 AM
acid proof rope recipe malk Ultima Online General Discussion 5 15th November 2005 03:56 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0
Template-Modifications by TMS
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007 - 2008, PixelFX Studios