Ultimate Online Forums
Go Back   Ultimate Online Forums > Off Topic Forums > Off Topic Area > Jokes & Stuff

Jokes & Stuff Jokes, funny stories, flash movies etc go in here.

 
Thread Tools
Old 23rd June 2006, 03:26 AM   #1
UOForums AdministratorTabbitha
Administrator
 
Tabbitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Shard: Europa/Snowbourn
Posts: 5,896
Gold: 49,296
Blog Entries: 6
Thanks: 209
Thanked 206 Times in 116 Posts
Tabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The EstimableTabbitha The Estimable

Awards Showcase
Community Spirit Award 
Total Awards: 1

Pc

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000 miles to the gallon."


In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
part):


1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a new car.


3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.


4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.


5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would
run on only five percent of the roads.


6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
warning light.


7. The air bag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.


8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.


9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.


10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -
their computer.

Divider




Tabbitha is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 06:39 AM   #2
Evil Ninja Troll
I paint Cats.
 
Evil Ninja Troll's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Shard: Chesapeake
Posts: 169
Gold: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Evil Ninja Troll the FairEvil Ninja Troll the Fair
Re: Pc

That's pretty good, I send it to my wife and all my co-workers here.

Divider



Evil will always conquer over good, because good is dumb.
Evil Ninja Troll is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 10:47 AM   #3
Yuallica
 
Yuallica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Shard: Drachenfels
Posts: 443
Gold: 5
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Yuallica the KindYuallica the KindYuallica the KindYuallica the KindYuallica the KindYuallica the Kind
Re: PC

lol :laughing9:

Divider

Yuallica is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 01:28 PM   #4
Minotaur2k
Meow
 
Minotaur2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Shard: Catskills
Posts: 580
Gold: 10
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Minotaur2k the FairMinotaur2k the FairMinotaur2k the Fair
Re: Pc

That was great....I do have to wonder if GM REALLY did send that out....

Divider

There are no stupid questions......only stupid people!
Minotaur2k is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 01:35 PM   #5
UOForums AdministratorAdam
Lead Administrator
Owner
 
Adam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 1990
Posts: 6,265
Gold: 105,892
My Mood:
Thanks: 54
Thanked 720 Times in 226 Posts
Adam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The EstimableAdam The Estimable
Re: Pc

That's great..thanks for posting.
I loved the air bags one and the "Illegal operation" one to.
Adam is online now   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 01:48 PM   #6
UOForums AdministratorAlly
The Couch Hottie
 
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Shard: Lake Austin, Atlantic
Posts: 4,423
Gold: 3,135
My Mood:
Thanks: 37
Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts
Ally the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the GoodAlly the Good
Re: Pc

hehe that's great.

Divider


Lilypie 1st Birthday PicLilypie 1st Birthday Ticker
Ally is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 03:40 PM   #7
Ly-Las
 
Ly-Las's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 522
Gold: 10
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Ly-Las the FairLy-Las the FairLy-Las the FairLy-Las the FairLy-Las the Fair
Re: Pc

HAHA thats fantastic!

Divider

Ly-Las is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 23rd June 2006, 03:56 PM   #8
Wenchkin
 
Wenchkin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Shard: Europa
Posts: 72
Gold: 51
Thanks: 1
Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts
Wenchkin is unknown
Re: Pc

The airbags one is just class... *still laughing*

Wenchy
Wenchkin is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th June 2006, 07:54 AM   #9
HMS Redneck Battle Trout
Madien of the Great Blue
 
HMS Redneck Battle Trout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Shard: Absolutely playing no games
Posts: 1,979
Gold: 3,568
Thanks: 3
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
HMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the HonestHMS Redneck Battle Trout the Honest
Re: Pc

HAHAHA! That is cool! Those are some really good ones! I am going to have to show my hunk! He will love them!

-RMS Carpathia-
HMS Redneck Battle Trout is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th June 2006, 08:00 AM   #10
Forum LegendDiP
Ronin<br>UOForums Bouncer
 
DiP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Shard: Black Water Raiders, Azeroth
Posts: 9,149
Gold: 19,888
My Mood:
Thanks: 143
Thanked 102 Times in 86 Posts
DiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The GloriousDiP The Glorious
Re: Pc

Sad thing is, with a little change of lingo, you can say the same thing about a Ford.
DiP is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:35 PM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0
Template-Modifications by TMS
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007 - 2008, PixelFX Studios