Men vs. Women

Gwenyth · 2nd February 2006, 04:44 PM

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,
a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that... is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

Thradia · 2nd February 2006, 04:50 PM

Quote:

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

LOL

Penelope · 2nd February 2006, 05:08 PM

Too Funny!!!

**Ezekiel** · 2nd February 2006, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gwenyth

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

Now that is one of the most poignant thoughts of marriage Ive ever heard...

**Adri** · 3rd February 2006, 08:11 AM

3rd February 2006, 08:22 AM

LOL. That is true.

3rd February 2006, 08:23 AM

My sis is going to flip out over this.

Talon · 3rd February 2006, 11:55 AM

ROFL
They are all so true

Yuallica · 4th February 2006, 09:36 AM

Lol, those are great.

Flutter · 4th February 2006, 11:15 AM

Hehe
So true...

2nd February 2006, 04:44 PM	#1
Gwenyth Join Date: Sep 2005 Shard: Catskills Posts: 348 Gold: 87 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Men vs. Women 1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. 6. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. 10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

2nd February 2006, 05:08 PM	#3
Penelope Gift to Avalon Join Date: Dec 2005 Shard: Catskills Posts: 70 Gold: 2 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Men vs. Women Too Funny!!!

3rd February 2006, 08:11 AM	#5
Adri Wearing metal panties in a lightning storm Join Date: May 2004 Shard: Pacific/Landroval Posts: 3,851 Gold: 920 My Mood: Thanks: 210 Thanked 117 Times in 84 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Re: Men vs. Women rofl We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places. --Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt

3rd February 2006, 08:22 AM	#6
Utena Guest Posts: n/a Gold: 0 [Check]	Re: Men vs. Women LOL. That is true.

3rd February 2006, 08:23 AM	#7
Utena Guest Posts: n/a Gold: 0 [Check]	Re: Men vs. Women My sis is going to flip out over this.

3rd February 2006, 11:55 AM	#8
Talon Offical Cookie Taster Join Date: Nov 2005 Shard: Drachenfels and Europa Posts: 505 Gold: 163 My Mood: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Men vs. Women ROFL They are all so true

4th February 2006, 09:36 AM	#9
Yuallica Join Date: Nov 2005 Shard: Drachenfels Posts: 443 Gold: 7 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Men vs. Women Lol, those are great.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Women should never:	Snugglebunny	SlamBook	8	Yesterday 02:06 AM
What do men think of women asking them out?	Snugglebunny	SlamBook	5	9th June 2007 08:06 AM
Men Vs. Women	Mercedes	Jokes & Stuff	3	21st March 2007 09:15 AM
Women	Mercedes	Jokes & Stuff	4	10th March 2007 12:14 PM
Just for the Women!!	Mercedes	Jokes & Stuff	14	10th March 2007 07:48 AM