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Old 8th December 2006, 04:38 PM   #1
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Male or Female??

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:


FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.


PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.


TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.


HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.


SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.


WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.


TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.


EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.


HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.


THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
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Old 8th December 2006, 05:30 PM   #2
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Re: Male or Female??

Lol
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Old 8th December 2006, 08:01 PM   #3
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Re: Male or Female??

hehe
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Old 8th December 2006, 08:25 PM   #4
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Re: Male or Female??

lol
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Old 8th December 2006, 10:00 PM   #5
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Re: Male or Female??

ho ho that was a good one
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Old 8th December 2006, 10:52 PM   #6
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Re: Male or Female??

Hmm so what are ships, cars, trucks, and other things? I am curious now... that is pretty funny! Oh yes and toasters Microwaves.. television stuff like that. Heck a computer! I named "him" Gorefang but known my luck it be a female >_<

That is pretty funny!

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Old 12th December 2006, 07:24 AM   #7
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Re: Male or Female??

A PC would be - Male - Because it works well sometimes but often makes mistake from the simplest task, and often has "Memory Losses".

A Mac would be - Female - Cause they are streamline, more artsy, work harder but get less credit then the PC, and often work better then the PC.

Televisions - Female - Because they seem to know what you want but always change the subject right when you think it's going somewhere {commercials} . {kinda like getting ready to make love and then they pop a hypothetical question on you ARG!!!}

Ok I'm going to stop b4 I get slapped
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Old 12th December 2006, 07:34 AM   #8
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Re: Male or Female??

hehe, what about a Stapler?
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Old 12th December 2006, 02:50 PM   #9
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Re: Male or Female??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tovladian Soltyr View Post
A PC would be - Male - Because it works well sometimes but often makes mistake from the simplest task, and often has "Memory Losses".

A Mac would be - Female - Cause they are streamline, more artsy, work harder but get less credit then the PC, and often work better then the PC.

Televisions - Female - Because they seem to know what you want but always change the subject right when you think it's going somewhere {commercials} . {kinda like getting ready to make love and then they pop a hypothetical question on you ARG!!!}

Ok I'm going to stop b4 I get slapped
Haha Tovladian! And don't worry about being slapped... I do not do that sort of thing.

-RMS Olympic-
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Old 12th December 2006, 03:31 PM   #10
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Re: Male or Female??

Funny =-) I gree with you on all of them lol
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Old 13th December 2006, 02:03 AM   #11
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Re: Male or Female??

That was a good one m8
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