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Old 19th May 2007, 09:30 AM   #1
 
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Making a baby!!!

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, "Well,
I'm off now. The man should be here soon."


Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.


"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."


"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."


"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?"


"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have
a seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"


"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."


"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
me!"


"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."


"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.


"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."


"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.


The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.


"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.


"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with."


"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.


"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
good look."


"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.


"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."


Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh... equipment?"


"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away."


"Tripod?"


"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long."


Mrs. Smith fainted!!

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Old 19th May 2007, 10:55 AM   #2
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Re: Making a baby!!!

ROFL

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Old 19th May 2007, 11:52 AM   #3
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Re: Making a baby!!!

How do I sign up for THAT job

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Thanks again Maddux!

Adri: women don't discuss men while in the bathroom, we sacrifice small animals and smoke tampons *rolls eyes*
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Old 19th May 2007, 03:27 PM   #4
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Re: Making a baby!!!

hehe
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Old 19th May 2007, 04:44 PM   #5
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Re: Making a baby!!!

LOL...that's a good one

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Old 23rd May 2007, 09:09 AM   #6
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Re: Making a baby!!!

Hahaha! work colleagues had a good chuckle over this!

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Best Regards,

Tigurius

Quote:
For eleven hundred years I have fought and I have seen the darkness of our galaxy... I have seen all the evil the galaxy harbours, and I have slain them. I have seen what you must see, I have fought what you must fight, and I have slain what you must slay... Righteousness is your shield, Faith your armour and Hatred your weapon. So fear not, and be proud...
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Old 23rd May 2007, 09:45 AM   #7
 
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Re: Making a baby!!!

OMFG i want that job! *coughs and walks away*
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Old 23rd May 2007, 11:10 AM   #8
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Re: Making a baby!!!

Looked all over for a job like that , no luck of course
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Old 23rd May 2007, 11:19 AM   #9
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Re: Making a baby!!!

WalMart is always trying to hire baby photographers

Vepl

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Another Quality Job by Atlas607

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