Walking through the jungle, a hunter found a dead ferocious looking rhinoceros with a pygmy standing proudly beside it. Amazed the hunter asked, "Did you kill that rhino?"

"Yes," said the pygmy.

"How could a little fella like you kill a beast like that?"

"I killed it with my club," explained the pygmy.

The astonished hunter exclaimed, "Wow! How big is that club of yours?"

The pygmy replied, "There are about 90 of us.


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On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink. "Oh no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said.

Later he offered her a cigarette. "Oh no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said again.

On the drive home, he saw a motel. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked if she wanted to stop in there. "Okay," she replied.

"What will you tell your Sunday school class?," he asked shocked.

"The same thing I always tell them: 'You don't have to drink or smoke to have a good time!'"

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"The pharmacist just insulted me," the woman sobbed to her husband.

Upset, he jumped in his car and sped to the store to defend his wife.

"Listen to my side!" the pharmacist pleaded. "First, I overslept. Rushing out, I locked my car keys inside the house and had to break a windor to get them. Then I got a flat. When I finally got behind the counter, there was a long line and the phone was ringing. After bending to pick up a roll of nickels, I cracked my head on a drawer and fell backward, shattering the perfume case.

Meanwhile the phone was still ringing. I picked it up and your wife asked me how to use a rectal thermometer. I swear, all I did was tell her."

Lol

love the 3rd one!

rofl

3rd one rocks..