HELL

Mercedes · 8th March 2007, 01:00 PM

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

**Adri** · 8th March 2007, 01:02 PM

RMS Truffle Rainbow Spotted Mountain Trout · 8th March 2007, 01:34 PM

Haha!

-RMS Carpathia-

**Ally** · 8th March 2007, 01:39 PM

lol nice one.

**Ezekiel** · 8th March 2007, 03:55 PM

Thats great! I got to go see if I can find Niels Bohr's college story. Ill post it up if I find it...its a god 'un!

buddy lee · 8th March 2007, 03:56 PM

**DiP** · 8th March 2007, 04:15 PM

Hahaha

**Snugglebunny** · 8th March 2007, 04:19 PM

Haha!!!

Im Free · 8th March 2007, 09:49 PM

LOL...Snowballs anyone?

lklovelykiki24 · 17th March 2007, 02:02 PM

8th March 2007, 01:00 PM	#1
Mercedes Banned Join Date: Sep 2006 Shard: Chessy Posts: 768 Gold: 108 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

8th March 2007, 01:02 PM	#2
Adri Wearing metal panties in a lightning storm Join Date: May 2004 Shard: Pacific/Landroval Posts: 3,851 Gold: 920 My Mood: Thanks: 210 Thanked 117 Times in 84 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student lol We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places. --Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt

8th March 2007, 01:34 PM	#3
RMS Truffle Rainbow Spotted Mountain Trout Madien of the Great Blue Join Date: Jun 2006 Shard: Absolutely playing no games Posts: 2,012 Gold: 5,236 Thanks: 5 Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student Haha! -RMS Carpathia- -Back to the Future 2- Marty McFly: There he is, Doc! Let's land on him, we'll cripple his car. Doctor Emmett L. Brown: Marty, he's in a '46 Ford, we're in a DeLorean. He'd rip through us like we were tin foil. -RMS Carpathia-

8th March 2007, 01:39 PM	#4
Ally The Couch Hottie Join Date: Aug 2004 Shard: Lake Austin, Atlantic Posts: 4,493 Gold: 13,671 My Mood: Thanks: 49 Thanked 20 Times in 17 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student lol nice one.

8th March 2007, 03:55 PM	#5
Ezekiel Wycorp--Dwarf Hunter Join Date: Jul 2005 Shard: Area 52 Posts: 2,435 Gold: 94 Thanks: 0 Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student Thats great! I got to go see if I can find Niels Bohr's college story. Ill post it up if I find it...its a god 'un!

8th March 2007, 03:56 PM	#6
buddy lee Agent Zero Join Date: Oct 2006 Shard: Atlantic Posts: 2,055 Gold: 17,753 Thanks: 24 Thanked 29 Times in 27 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student hmmm

8th March 2007, 04:15 PM	#7
DiP Ronin UOForums Bouncer Join Date: Jan 2006 Shard: Black Water Raiders, Azeroth Posts: 9,221 Gold: 21,224 My Mood: Thanks: 158 Thanked 113 Times in 92 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student Hahaha Thanks again Maddux! Adri: women don't discuss men while in the bathroom, we sacrifice small animals and smoke tampons rolls eyes

8th March 2007, 04:19 PM	#8
Snugglebunny ♥Yr Mangled Heart♥ Join Date: Mar 2006 Shard: Black Water Raiders Posts: 8,785 Gold: 12,263 My Mood: Thanks: 224 Thanked 53 Times in 40 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student Haha!!!

8th March 2007, 09:49 PM	#9
Im Free Banned Join Date: May 2006 Shard: Pacific Posts: 247 Gold: 28 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student LOL...Snowballs anyone?

17th March 2007, 02:02 PM	#10
lklovelykiki24 Join Date: Dec 2006 Shard: Lake Superior Posts: 694 Gold: 2,475 My Mood: Thanks: 22 Thanked 11 Times in 6 Posts	Re: HELL - Explained by a Chemistry Student lol

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