NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY OF THE TOPICs COVERED,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS.

Class 1
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays: Step by Step Instructions.
Slide Presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll: Does It Change Itself.
Round Table Discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor.
Photos and Explanatory Graphics
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. ?

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes: Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Video Presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity: Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things: Starting With Looking In The Right
Places. And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
Life Testimonials by selected guest speakers
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While Your Significant
Other Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Prayer and Breathing Techniques
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.?

Class 13
How to Fight Acute Amnesia or Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering
Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates; includes, Calling
When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven: What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above classes, participants will
receive a certificate. Diplomas will be issued to the survivors of
the entire program.

With apologies to those who feel the content of this post is
politically incorrect.


*this was sent to me by a very close long time 'male' friend ...

rofl

Sign my hubby up for this one... hahahaha

Class 1
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays: Step by Step Instructions.

Um, whats an "Ice Cube Tray" since when is ice cubed...I thought ice was round with a hole in it and came from a bag that I have to slam on the floor O.o.


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll: Does It Change Itself.

Actually it does, I mean I leave it there empty and when I got back in sometime later that day it has a new roll on it....Why the hell do women whine about this, I think it saves time that it changes itself.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

You should be happy I pee on the seat and not clean it up, cause when you're forced to clean it up the friction from you rubbing around the tolit paper across the seat warms it for when you sit down....I'm providing a service .


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor.

Yeah the floor is where I keep my books, tools, and what not. The laundry hamper is where I put the laundry that magically disappears when it's full and the cloths re-appear folded in my dresser, I live owning magical house hold items .


Class 5
After Dinner Dishes: Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

No they can't, I take my dishes to the sink every time then wait for her to do them O.o lol.


Class 6
Loss Of Identity: Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Never lost the remote to any other, can't loose something if you always know where it is *looks at cartoons on the TV then looks at the remote in the kids hands* Grrrr I gave up on TV a long time ago.


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things: Starting With Looking In The Right
Places. And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

If she wouldn't move it then I wouldn't NEED to find it...Point blank truth...hurts don't it lol.

Class 8
Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Why, they'll just die anyway, how about I bring something useful like a rolling pin, least you can hit me with that, flowers don't hurt so much....


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.

Only P*ssies ask for dirrection, We don't get lost anyway, we just find new paths to old locations O.o


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While Your Significant
Other Parallel Parks?

Well don't cut it so close and we won't have to squirm around and panic, Men DO NOT like higher premiums


Class 11
Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Well duh, I don't even have to answer the differences there obvious


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.

We're not "Girlfriends" if you want to spend our money you can do it without us there! Cause you're going to do it with or without us anyway.


Class 13
How to Fight Acute Amnesia or Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering
Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates; includes, Calling
When You're Going To Be Late.

We never forget these we just plan for later then they really are and we act like we forget to throw you off *looks around innocently*


Class 14
The Stove/Oven: What It Is and How It Is Used.

Um it's not outside so we don't have to know what it is or how to use it....Grill and Smoke house is where it's at all the way, I grill in the winter, summer, fall, spring....get use to it!


*ADVISERY* I'm only joking in my responces, so don't get all snippy .

Tovladian Soltyr...you don't have to apologize for posting the correct responses. If anyone gets snippy it is because they can't handle the truth!

My wife learned long ago that trying to "train" me would take her longer then it was to just do her "job".

Lol well you sure know how to make friends in the lady crowd huh Im Free.

I will be the first to admitt I have been trained, but just looking at Eowyna makes me want to do everything I can to help.

What a bunch of crock. Real men doesn't get lost

LOL, nice replies Tovladian.

I'd keep an eye on these "guest speakers" for Class 9 "Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost." I wouldn't be suprised if all the guest speakers were actors.

hehehe