Ultimate Online Forums
Go Back   Ultimate Online Forums > Off Topic Forums > Off Topic Area > Jokes & Stuff

Jokes & Stuff Jokes, funny stories, flash movies etc go in here.

 
Thread Tools
Old 24th April 2007, 08:11 AM   #1
Banned
 
Mercedes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Shard: Chessy
Posts: 768
Gold: 108
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Mercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The Estimable
Dear God

Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at ?. ..

Mose s Lake , Washington 2/2/96
Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99
Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99
Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99
Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee , California 3/ 5/01 and
El Cajon , California 3/22/01?

Sincerely,

Concerned Student

-----------------------------------------------------

Reply:

Dear Concerned Student:

I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely,

God

----------------------------------------------------------

How did this get started?...

-----------------

Let's see,
I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained
she didn't want any prayer in our schools.

And we said, OK.

------------------

Then, someone said you better not
read the Bible in school,
the Bible that says "thou shalt not kill,
thou shalt not steal,
and love your neighbors as yourself,"

And we said, OK...

-----------------

Dr. Benjamin Spock said
we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehaved
because their little personalities
would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem.

And we said,
an expert should know what he's talking about
so we won't spank them anymore..

------- -----------

Then someone said
teachers and principals better not
discipline our children when they misbehave.
And the school administrators said
no faculty member in this school
better touch a student when they misbehave
because we don't want any bad publicity,
and we surely don't want to be sued.

And we accepted their reasoning...

------------------

Then someone said,
let's let our daughters have abortions if they want,
and they won't even have to tell their parents.

And we said, that's a grand idea...

------------------

Then some wise school board member said,
since boys will be boys
and they're going to do it anyway,
let's give our sons all the condoms they want,
so they can have all the fun they desire,
and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school.

And we said, that's another great idea...

------------------

Then some of our top elected officials said
it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs.

And we said,
it doesn't matter what anybody, including the President,
does in private as long as we have jobs and the economy is good....

------------------

And someone else took that appreciation a step further
and published pictures of nude children
and then stepped further still by
making them available on the Internet.

And we said, everyone's entitled to free speech....

------------------

And the entertainment industry said,
let's make TV shows and movies that promote
profanity, violence and illicit sex...
And let's record music that encourages
rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes...

And we said,
it's just entertainment and it has no adverse effect
and nobody t akes it seriously anyway,
so go right ahead.

------------------

Now we're asking ourselves
why our children have no conscience,
why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't bother them to
kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.
------------------

Undoubtedly,
if we thought about it long and hard enough,
we could figure it out.
I'm sure it has a great deal to do with...

"WE REAP WHAT WE SOW,"

------------------

Pass it on
if you think it has merit!
If not then just disca rd it...
But if you discard this thought process,
then don't you dare sit back and complain about
what bad shape this country is in!
Mercedes is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 08:17 AM   #2
No Rest for the Wicked
 
Lord of Shadows's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Shard: Hokuto/Lake Austin
Posts: 626
Gold: 1,003
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Lord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the Kind
Re: Dear God

That answers our question from (yesterday?) about what changed in society from the way it was just 20 years ago.

Divider

Guildmaster, No Rest for the Wicked (NRW)
Hokuto
Lord of Shadows is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 08:27 AM   #3
Forum Legend
 
Vepl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Shard: Lake Superior
Posts: 3,621
Gold: 979
Thanks: 2
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Vepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The EstimableVepl The Estimable
Re: Dear God

So true Mercedes and LoS. I think you actually need to go back a little further then 20 years but that's close enough

Vepl

Divider


Another Quality Job by Atlas607

Vepl is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 08:29 AM   #4
Banned
 
Mercedes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Shard: Chessy
Posts: 768
Gold: 108
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Mercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The EstimableMercedes The Estimable
Re: Dear God

I agree with you both totally and it is very sad and unfortunate this has happened
Mercedes is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 08:50 AM   #5
Wearing metal panties in a lightning storm
 
Adri's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Shard: Pacific/Landroval
Posts: 3,850
Gold: 920
My Mood:
Thanks: 209
Thanked 117 Times in 84 Posts
Adri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The EstimableAdri The Estimable

Awards Showcase
Community Spirit Award 1st Place Winner 
Total Awards: 2

Re: Dear God

Well said.

Divider

We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.
--Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt

Adri is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 09:05 AM   #6
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
kingtony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Shard: alantic
Posts: 2,648
Gold: 194
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
kingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honestkingtony the Honest
Re: Dear God

It's Only Of Start Of A Lot Worse Things To Come
kingtony is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 09:23 AM   #7
Guildmaster of ATD, Defender of Paxlair!
 
Crypt Keeper(CK)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Shard: Sonoma, Chesapeake
Posts: 654
Gold: 360
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Crypt Keeper(CK) the FairCrypt Keeper(CK) the FairCrypt Keeper(CK) the Fair
Re: Dear God

oooo the world is coming to an end...

ooooo its going to brun to the ground...


heh you people make CK smile!


Parents need to be parents and not their kids best friend. Dont blame it on all of us cause some of us are doing right in the world, only you can raise your children not us. When my kiddies do wrong enough they get their lil hides tanned AND I explain to them what they did wrong. A lot of parents just scream and act like kids themselves and then say "I cant do anything with him/her"

right....

Divider

Crypt Keeper(CK) is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 11:10 AM   #8
No Rest for the Wicked
 
Lord of Shadows's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Shard: Hokuto/Lake Austin
Posts: 626
Gold: 1,003
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Lord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the KindLord of Shadows the Kind
Re: Dear God

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypt Keeper(CK) View Post
Parents need to be parents.
Enough said right there!

Divider

Guildmaster, No Rest for the Wicked (NRW)
Hokuto
Lord of Shadows is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 11:12 AM   #9
Holding on to My Soul
 
toplessphoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 520
Gold: 12
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
toplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Goodtoplessphoenix the Good
Re: Dear God

*points to Los's post* what he said

Divider

I don't have issues......I have volumes!!
toplessphoenix is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Old 24th April 2007, 11:20 AM   #10
Guildmaster of ATD, Defender of Paxlair!
 
Crypt Keeper(CK)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Shard: Sonoma, Chesapeake
Posts: 654
Gold: 360
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Crypt Keeper(CK) the FairCrypt Keeper(CK) the FairCrypt Keeper(CK) the Fair
Re: Dear God

I didn't mean to make my reply sound like I was pointing fingers, I really wasn't lol. I just get so sick of hearing the blame laid on a video game, music, " the bad movie made me do it"

Sure, those things have SOME influence on a young adult but guess what, who let that kid have such things...

their parents and those same parents let their daughter date and wear make up when shes 13 and their sons have no set time to be home so they are out all hours of the night doing who knows what. The parent thinks they are winning points and being cool or they just flat out don't give two sh@t's either way.

Then when little beth is knocked up at age 15 and little bobby is in juvie for selling weed or stealing a car they wonder were they went wrong and start blaming everything and everyone but themselves, kids don't know right from wrong today because their parents don't care, as long as they are out of their hair and taking up their personal time.

I have played video games and listened to bad music and watched violent movies. But I haven't killed or robbed anyone. Why? Because my parents whipped my ass when I done something wrong and just plain and simple, they were parents and taught me right from wrong

damnit, I ranted again didn't I

Divider

Crypt Keeper(CK) is offline   Return to Top Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dear SIlvervale Lord Gareth Silvervale Community OOC 11 8th July 2008 08:57 PM
WoW: Dear Lord... Petra The Litterbox 0 3rd October 2007 07:35 PM
To my dear Escaflowne. Ria'hnon Vesper (IC Board) 0 1st October 2007 10:05 AM
Dear Grandma Mercedes Jokes & Stuff 0 31st May 2007 08:52 AM
Dear Ex Wife Thradia Jokes & Stuff 4 24th January 2007 03:14 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:21 AM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0
Template-Modifications by TMS
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007 - 2008, PixelFX Studios