I don't really fear death or people dying. After my dad died (we were very close - he died at the age of 46, when I was 26), I kind of had to come to terms with the fact that death is just part of life.

I have GAD - generalized anxiety disorder. So sometimes I am afraid of everything. When that blows into a full panic attack, I can't even move I get so afraid. I think one of the things I fear most is panic attacks. They are miserable, seem to take forever, and I can't even leave my room when I have one.

When the GAD is under control, I am not afraid of much. If I had to pick one thing tho, it would be losing my daughter somehow. That would just kill me.

Losing one of my children

That is a VERY good one... I am the same way...

I think my biggest fear besides that one I quoted from Dark, is loosing any friend I have... I got two internet friends and I FINALLY have a friend who actually LIVES on the same street as I do... she is my newset one but such an amazing person as the other 2! She is 89 years of age but yet we connect SO well! I go over to her house and watch stuff with her, we will go out somewhere and just hang out, and of course we talk about everything and anything togeather, she is like another sister to me!! But the bad part about her is that she is up there in age and I could loose her at anytime... but I can not help but love her... like I said she connects with me SO well I have never had anyone connect with me that lived on the same block like that!

I really needed her and she needed me, she lives alone at home and no one really comes and visits her and sense my husband works nights he sleeps ALOT during the day... nothing you can really do about it but I sit here at home just nothing much going on... I will read and play video games, clean the house, hang with the rats but I really had no friends that I can actually hang with... though it kind of always has been that way sense my dad was in the military so soon as I did find a good friend we would move away and they would never keep in contact or we could never think of anything to talk about after awhile and fade away.

My internet friends are way diffrent we are still going strong though I haven't even got to talk to them much lately sense I been so busy. I have been even so busy I haven't really had much time to come on here post and browse. I really miss it... though parents are on there way tommrow so it might be awhile again before I can actually come here again lol... spring / summer such a heactic time.

But yeah loosing friends is probably my next biggest fear from disappointing people that depend on me.

I am so happy to finally have a friend after YEARS and years of only having net friends... it is diffrent a new experience for me and it is much better than I remember but I think it is because I was hanging with the wrong generation of people back when I did have friends who lived on the same block.

My other "old" friends always wanted to go out and drink, I never really wanted to do that, she slept around with LOTS of people, and I wasn't into that type of stuff I wanted to fall in love with someone, marry them, and that would be the only sleeping at all I would do. She could never see that and always edged me on to do things I wasn't into like she was. She did weed as well *sigh*

I never did any of that stuff but she was pretty much one of the only people who would hang with me... I was so diffrent from alot of people sense I was not on the same learning level as much so most just though I was retarded and had nothing to do with me... which I understand if you never get close to someone least you do not have to deal with the pain of them leaving or dieing you on... but after awhile sometimes and especailly me... you always need someone there to love and care for... I just love to interact with people.

Again having the few friends I have is probably one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me besides meeting my husband... I just wish we can do more... but working nights takes away alot of time but there is always days off ^_^

I just wish my other two friends lived just as close maybe we all could hang out and just have a blast togeather!

-RMS Carpathia-

Carp I'm really happy for you! Your making me all teary eyed 1:30 in the morning! You are doing a really good thing making friends with her and keeping her company. *BIG HUGGLES*

As for your other friend who tried to push you into things, I'm glad you stood your ground. That makes you a strong person. Like me. *flexes* :5kidding: You are a really great person Carp, don't let anyone tell you other wise and if they do. Tell them I have a size 8.5 paw that can crush some citrus.

Haha thanks Snuggs! *hugs Snugglebug back!* Lol she is keeping me company too =P She has so many intresting stories and stuff where as I do not have as many but then again I am only 23 there is a "slight" age diffrence hehe ^_^

And thanks yeah, my other friend wasn't really a friend I guess, but then again we was both at that crazy teenage age where people get experimental I guess is the word I am looking for? Lol I remember her always trying to get me off EverQuest to go do that bad stuff... other than that like I said she was pretty cool just had to keep myself not invovled with her bad habits...

-RMS Carpathia-

I used to do deliveries for the grocery store i worked for years ago. I made a lot of friends in the Senior Retirement homes. I hate older people alone, or with out a ring on their ring finger. There is a lot of sadness there and I tried to be-friend a lot of folks. Your doing a good thing. She might not have anyone in her life right now.

My dad being a alcoholic was a big enough force to keep me away from the liquor then as it is now. I was lucky enough to have a lot of straight edge guy friends I hung out with. Although that was enough to drive me bonkers in itself ! Its a good thing your married now. You don't want to know what its like at 29.5

Yeah I don't get it... why do people shun the older generation? They seem to be the only people I really connect with... or I get along with really... I knew lots of old people course one already died on me =( I considered him my second Grandpa that was back in Kentucky... gosh he was a sweetheart and severed in World War II, told me some pretty cool stories on that

The older woman I told you about, her name is Marge, she is just an older mother so nothing like the World War II vetern but still enjoy to hear what she has to say. Whenever she sees me out side, sometimes I like to go outside in my car, Mika and read. And she would literally duck down and sneak up right up to the side view mirrior and when she thinks I least suspect it she spring up and ducks into the car window and gives me a hug!! HAHA she is funny as heck! Do sneak attack hugs =P

She told me one day, "I haven't felt this young in years"

I took that as a compliment! It was like sleep overs and watching movies!! HAHA. Course my husband's parents can not figure me out at all! Here Voradan has this friend who is actually in our age group, even though he is cool and all I can not see us being as close as I am with Marge, just something special about her... his parents find it weird... but I really do not see what the big deal is... a friend is a friend!

And Snuggs sorry to hear about your dad being that way but I do think you remember you saying something about that before if not mistaken... but I am glad you are with someone who is going to be good to you and not be a bad pressured influence

Can not wait for her to meet my sister =P

-RMS Carpathia-

That's right, a friend is a friend

Don't be sorry, it made me who I am. I don't regret it at all and as for with someone, her name is Baby Wrinkles and she's my dog

a painfull death