Gak wud wundirin arund Paxuzg tudey, peepin fur hutlezz humiez ur suumash tu clomp... ur boph!
blah blah Paxlair blah, blah blah grumble grumble

Gak nub pyndz eddir ash, doh.
rental car smells like suuun shine!!!

Dis ib nub guud.
I hate when my rental care smells like sunshine too

Befur Gak kud kommid haree karee suumwerz elze, Gak smellie dat Klug wud kuukin sumptin en demz hut.
Before Gak went out to push down old ladies and kill baby seals and use their eyes to make so kinda demonic plague like substance, he got hungry

Klug alweyz kuukin sumptin guud.
Klug doesn't burn the cookies like someone I know

Ilid eer Pyzza...
Ruk peepir stu...
Ruk peepir stu un ah styk...
(Reli makz lat hungree, nub? Gak ib.)

Demz wud kuukin ruk eer pyzza wid x-tra ruk eer!!
It didn't smell as bad as it looked

Bubhosh! Juzd da wey Gak lyk demz.

Gak peepid da pyzza wen demz wud dun kuukin. Gak kud nub beleeb wud Gak peepid!! Da ruk eerz mad ah pykdur en da pyzza!! Gak sho Klug da pyzza agh demz Peepid da seym pykdur Gak peepid.
What kinda mushrooms did Klug use?

Da pykdur wud ogh da Sharkuu!!!
It did look like Winfield, I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it myself

Dis ib tru, Klug peepid id tuu.
Yes, Klug did see it too. Klug is a stand-up orc and all, but why would you believe him? You can believe me, its true

Klug kuukid dub muur ruk eer pyzzaz. Ash pyzza peepid lyk fyzhin clompir agh da uddir ash peepid lyk phloppe kaar kober.
Klug is a pretty good cook, he can even make tree bark taste better

Klug blah dat deze wud sygnz huw tu summin bak da Sharkuu!

Klug blahid tu Gak wud mojo tu uz. Gak stylz gruk mozd ogh id...mabee.
Gak remembers most of what to do, he will have slept since then, after that, things get iffy

Gak du gruk wud eberiash neeb ty bryng tu Paxuzg meedin.

Phloppe kaar kober and fyzhin clompir.
Gak wants everyone to bring a plain floppy hat and a plain fishing pole to the Paxlair meeting because the pizza said to gather floppy hats and fishing poles

Eberibudee neebz tu bryng ash ogh deze tu da Kauz Tuwir en Paxuzg befur da Paxuzg meedin, arund tukh:futh'krak eezdirn dis tuzdey.
Paxlair meeting- roof of the Chaos Tower in Paxlair, before meeting, 8:45 ish eastern, Gak will attempt to summon Governor Winfield using magic. Again, bring a floppy hat and fishing pole...and snow

Gak wylz uz mojo tu phynd da Sharkuu!!
Gak will dazzle you with magic not seen since last time you saw magic


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Translation:
Paxlair meeting roof of the Chaos Tower in Paxlair, Felucca this Tuesday. Before the meeting, 8:45-ish eastern, Gak will use magic to Find Governor Winfield. He requests everyone bring a plain 'ol floppy hat and a plain 'ol fishing pole and snow(Demz rulz). I'm not sure why, It could have something to do with pizza...