Reflections ( Jens Journal )
(Intended strictly for OOC purposes only, unless your character would know events personally... thank you thank you )


23 May 05

-blankness- One could quite laugh at the Ironicness of it all, Nearly half of Tremere in Jail.. for being taken down by Guards.. -deep sigh- What ever was Garod thinking.. scratch that, what am I thinking questioning my sires Motives? Milord who has ruled over our House duefully for ages.. in and out of turmoil unknown, without mere scratches. Our Leige and fearless leader whom any in the House would die to get just an ounce of approval from. The -dissapointment- as the days events rang throughout my mind, have I failed him this day? Hmm maybe it was meant to turn out the way it was...


Ikus- now theres a thought- Freedom to Milord at expense to myself.. was there any question of what way I would react? Of course not Ikus, knows more than he lets on.. One wonders why he acted the way he did, near tauntingly, nearly invitingly - motive- People are never that bold without reason.. even a reminder of who we are thinking about... -chuckle- What does it matter, he is still only a mortal man.. Besides attempting to corrupt him would prove far to amusing... -wait-...

...-faint smile... light purr-... He had come, he who was to be. His silent taunting always preceding his light footsteps. I could hear his thoughts now.. the amusement in his ever so silent laughter..the opening and closing of the cell - slowly opening my eyes- I felt his presence behind me, looking inspectivly over me, as I stood faced away from him. -Silence- but that was our way.. Him and I- was always a tranquil dance.. silent yet potentially deadly, slow yet faster than others could comprehend. His persistant taunting of my emotions- that I dont acknowlege, and my playful dance with his thoughts- which he choose to make his own speculations about Im sure. ..-Glancing Left-... There he stood in his Immortal beauty,the first and only immortal to catch my eye, so unspoken and admirable.. I walked over to him, glancing up to him, making sure to get eye contact- he seemed unsure my mood. Quickly he embraced me, kissing me softly on the lips.. - confusion - I nearly felt happiness..-mutter.. interupted promptly by his words-.. " The silly guards, let me in here fully armed.. can you actually believe that? " -Amusement- He timed his actions and words skillfully, not that is suprises me.. this is after all why I accepted his proposal to be my mate...right? Actions, unforseen and unspoken- never to be written... he wrapped me in his cloak smiling.. Do you require anything he asked? But he already knew my answer.


Screams.. The people in mass chaos.. it echoed around the cell wall. A guard coming in and placed Rikku in the cell with me, asking my name politely.. thus he was told.. -the battle- now closer.. I informed him, he would be wise to hide his face, to avoiding the chaos.. Yewish Guards opened the cell..Everyone is released! -intrigue- would have to pay special thanks for this, even if it wasnt inteded to help us specificaly.

Guess who? -warm smiles, as I tap Ikus's nose-... Surely you didnt think you could have me forever hmm? - more taunts..- free and yet the intrigue of his motives.. I extend an invitation for dinner.. and chuckle more at the fact he accepted it publicaly.
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Jenwhittet

Re: Reflections ( Jens Journal )
24 May 05


Many a exciting event happened today, the making of Moira into a slave for the entire house, after having her crawl to me begging forgiveness by Garod, but even more so the cursing of Demos.. how eagerly he chose to disrepect me in the streets in front of others. Another bold yet quite alluring individual.. Not sure if it was his presumtuious charm or mortality.. that attracted me most. Bold he was, and what was even more alluring the fact that he thought himself right.. Tis what happens giving pledglings a taste of immortality.. oddly enough he was half right. He was robbed.. quite harshly so. I spose he had reason to be mad, but what did he expect? He cant exactly fight or compare to an Elder, well not and win anyhow. Some long time after listening to him and, how I wasnt doing what I truley wanted.. how I could grow bored, and come back to what I really wanted- grew quite tedious, so I took him to the library.

As we stepped into Naeloth and I chanted the words to dispel the gate from the streets of Trinny, hastily I instructed Rikku to go find a wolve and cut out its tongue and return it to us, then I ordered Demos hat from atop his head- and walked hastily upstairs. Knowing only the basics to complete the spell and not the exact ritual, I chose to continue, after all how hard could it be? Spells.. was never a concern- I always got what I wanted by charm and mind control.. surely this couldnt be hard. Chanting the ritual words and placing a bottle of sacrid blood atop every scroll I started the ceremony. Placing his hat atop the alter and the wolves tongue aside it, I glanced quickly to him and smiled. Closing my eyes she started the ritual as Garod had taught me for the sleep spell.. Demos placed a hand on my shoulder which I chose to ignore. Opening my eyes I continued on, by this time he was angry with me looking away- ignoring. No matter.. time to finish. - a heavy sigh of relief as I fell to my knees at the alter-... Moira trying to pick me up.. Silent and astonished to how much energy the act took from me. I stood up, brushing the dust of my black skirt.. hoping for my sake I had done it correctly. Picking the hat up I handed it to him, he stood emotionless watching me.. - enough I sighed -.. Would you like your hat back? No answer and a laugh cleared my throat.. Rikku and Moira sat watching astonishingly as I warned them never to try the unknown.. and we headed back to Trinsic. All seemed to have gone right. He should have his voice back by Friday.
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Jenwhittet


Re: Reflections ( Jens Journal)
2 June 2005

The Past few weeks, had been a confusing time for me. It had been years since a emotion crossed my mind. Now seemingly they pranced there - taunting my every thought.. tempting my motive, my direction, my life- if thats what you deemed it. My life, I laugh at the comparison. Life... my never ending life. All I have is time, but where exactly was my motivation. My priorities to our House without a doubt. My motivation though, thoughts was with a certain mortal man. True enough any mortal held a certain level of amusement in my eyes. More- less, very few- alot.. him more than words could speak. This one who already knew our secrets, this one who wasnt afraid of who we are. The Virtuous one who danced with danger. My motives with him at first strickly buisness, entertaining a Nobleman- does it get better? Likewise, Im positive he did as well.. somewhere it changed. Dare I call him a friend? Unlikely to be said about any mortal, not said about any mortal. Not since before I was sired.. but it was true, he was my friend- my playmate. With friends came certain responsibilities.. I would look after him.

My feelings, not as startled as to myself admitting I had them.. they have grown a part of me as of late. My coldness and anger filled with that of more a calm tranquiliity and sort of peace. But why? Why all the sudden, what had I done.. it baffled me. The only thing differently I had done was .. him- not my mortal, but my mate to be. I had fed off him.. not once but three times. But surely that wouldnt give me emotion.. he was younger than me. Surely his blood couldnt corrupt mine? I would seek her out, to find the answer. I know he could read what toughts I have given to him..would allow him. I granted him this in sorts.. our little bond.

Things lately bother me. Elias's openess with what it is, This Cherry and her male counterpart.. opening questioning and stating in Trinsic. What happened to the times of secrecy? I must send letter to Milord. I feel this very important.. it seems the balance is disturbed. His comments truley amused me, how odd it must of been for them to referre to him as my toy. Could tell in his voice as he tried mocking me, as he walked away with Cylvi. Surely he didnt think I cared? Let him try.. I say. Was a loosing game that.

But now for the more important matters... Seems we have much to discuss.
Sitting down I began to write...
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Jenwhittet

Re: Reflections ( Jens Journal)
4 June 2005


The evening had been exhausting. I had spent most of it with him, per the usual past few weeks. He had asked to see father, so I took him. He had not spoke of what I thought he would, goes to prove even I can be suprised. He spoke of Tanya... who was attacked by no other than Prince charming himself. Why couldnt he be more careful, I thought silently. Words spued across back and forth by the pair, and I became bored. Up the stairs I heard the hushed tones of Jade and Demos as they spoke.. so I went up.

Surely they didnt think we as Vampires couldnt hear thier words? Foolish. Smiling to the both, I asked what was so interesting.. and Demos replied " nothing ". My once fond friend, had grown disfunctional and hungry. He was rebelling.. I dont respond to such.. amuses me though. But he more angered me.. furious I left him, only only to find my own pain.

The company had left, and not only that.. left me with M'Lords wrath. His cold eyes danced upon me with a gaze even the strongest of people wouldnt dare encounter. Softly he spoke.. "Dont think I have forgotten your disobedience, Jen. " Of course not Milord.. I replied quietly remaining eye contact with him. What would ever make you do such a thing.. without asking he replied.. I fell to my knees before him, humbly.. explaining that I felt sorry for him.. -sigh- please tell me I didnt just tell my Sire.. I felt sorry for a mortal. Attempted recovery. as he went on about mortals dying everyday.. to no avail. He told me I couldnt leave Naeloth... hmm suitable I thought, acceptable- but he continued. You arent to see him anymore, Jen.

Of course I objected but Milord.. my gaze lowering to the ground- I knew, he wouldnt understand. Your dealings with him are reasonably out of hand he replied.. and what of Elias.. he demanded. I could feel his anger.. " I do not love him, " I replied whole heartly.. and you do Ikus? His eyes flashed over me as he stood still. hovering above me. No answer. What is then Jen.. will you marry him? " of course not me leige..it is not our way.." Well then have him as your mate? Again I replied no. I simply care for him .. Sire. Cowering as he returned my sentence loudly, echoing throughout the Library.. You CARE for him... he had began to pace. Loyalties.. where are they Jen? he fumed.. I didnt dare look, but i heard his footsteps stomping over the stone in front of me, yet he was barely touching it.

Quote:
" Shall I lock you in a cell til he is dead then Jen.. no no thats - Maybe I should just kill him now and get it over with..



He smiled.. I could sense it. His joy in my dispair.. I begged him otherwise.. to please leave him. Then he asked the right question.. the one I hoped to never hear. Where on earth are all these emotions coming from Jen? -panic- what do I say.. think fast- else he would read my thoughts and know... oh the consequence.." I dont know" , I replied.. it was mostly the truth, I couldnt tell him about Elias.. I wasnt sure myself.. that was the cause.. but nevermind.

Very well Jen he suprised me just then.. I will let you make your own decisions.. you are after all an Elder of our house. But make no mistake, if your dealings in any way bring harm to us.. I will kill you and all of your children.

Slowly I looked up, and thanked him humbly..

* The direction of the wind changes it shifts to the North.. and the breeze grows colder.. *

(Intended strictly for OOC purposes only, unless your character would know events personally... thank you thank you )

It had been many moons since I had stepped ground in Nealoth. My steps ever so lightly sliced seemingly through the crisp silence. I sensed no one.

In silence, I travelled to the Shrine of Julian- only to find it locked. No sign of Gaord, no sign of Gwen, no sign of anyone. *shrug* Garod was more than capable of taking care of himself, as was Gwen- but still I wondered where my child had gone?

Trinsic. Dare I venture to Trinsic? The very place who's source had driven me away to start with? I tried to erase the foolish thoughts from my head- Ikus is a Lord, the chances of running into him again were not likely. The years had forced the feelings below, below that of my conscience thoughts. It was a risk that I had to take. I needed to find out where everyone had gone, what had happened.

Trinsic- the city lay virtually empty. Had I been gone for so long? I asked a gentleman where all the people had ventured to and he babbled on about some marketplace in Vesper. How quaint.

I took the familiar stroll back through the streets of Trinsic, well fed and full of fire, my complexion showed that of a human. It was hinted with the bronzed skin that I had had as a young woman. My hair was as silky as the day that I was turned. My thoughts however were of the old, distant places, people, and encounters that haunted my existance.

I seen no-one familiar, at first. Then I sensed Lir. I stood behind her for a moment, waiting. She was as beautiful as ever. But alas, we are all beautiful are we not?

I had not talked much to her before the sun rose- and alas it was a new day.

I ventured to Vesper to find this market that the commoner spoke about. But I found little interest in their meddlings and returned to the solitude of my own thoughts. So it was there I sat, reflecting upon the past nights findings on a tree stump outside of Trinsic gate.

Eyes closed, I peacefully breathed in the forest air. No answers, no contentment, but solitude. What else is new? Suddenly, I felt his presence. His arroma ran through my veins like that of my first drink from my master. His mere presence was so.. sweet.

I took a deep breath and remembered my masters words on the subject. I was not to see him, ever again.

Quote:
" Shall I lock you in a cell til he is dead then Jen.. no no thats - Maybe I should just kill him now and get it over with.."

Nay mind, I am positive MiLord has more important meddlings. After all, I have not even felt his presence yet.

So I returned his salutations. Finally, I looked upon his face. Time had changed him, as was expected. Still he was quite the gentleman, time had not changed that.

Suddenly, it felt as though I had never left...

I find great pleasure in watching the humans and their reactions to one another, and great misery in watching the times change before me. Gone are the great days of wonderous Nealoth, evil in all it's glory. The once feared town now stands desolate. Few buildings remain- The Library, the Tavern. What a wasteland. Gone are the times when the Missionaries and the Drow inhabited this great land. Thus, I am left with solitude. The absense of my my beating heart, the crashing of the waves upon the shore, and the never ending pitter patter of the thoughts that constantly dance in my mind.

After my visit to Marble Island with Lil, I decided to go back and take a look around for myself. Alas, the night was young and the aura had all but disapated. I have no care to run into them, really... Closing my eyes I silenced my thoughts to see if I could feel their presence- there were none. Or so I thought. Even at my age, I could not sense MiLord. So I carried on.

Careful inspection of the tavern brought me no resolve. I wonder if something had happened while I was gone? I made my way to the hospital and sat there reading a book that my child had written. Cures with Artic Ogre Lord blood? I do hope she had not taken follow after Jade, her witchery always was disturbing to me. I continued my study of the building, but I found little clue as to a mishap. This does not suprise me.

I decided against building on the Island, I have no interest in entertaining the trouble that might have happened here. I chose a more remote place. A place where I would not be disturbed. He was there when I built it. You could call him the ray of light, throught the darkness I called my life. My eternal life.

I had the pleasure, well I dont know that I would call it pleasure really of meeting some people in Trinsic. A silly man who always talks about candy and is afraid of portals... the Baron Of Vesper and his lovely wife Maddy- as she likes to be called. Perhaps my years and ventures to more cultured societies have left me quite arrogant to that of the average person in these towns. Though I took great pleasure in stealing Lord Ikus's seat during the conversation- The Baron of Vesper was quite the ladies man- charming yet irritating. I do not understand how he could make such comments about other women with such a beautiful wife. Alas, she says he is a good husband and father- so I will take her word on the matter. She is after all who has to live with him.

They spoke of a Fall Festival- interesting. I was quite dismissive towards the battles that humans chose to have to show their strengths. True strength lays in wisdom- words that spoken and sometimes words that are not. It would be a great place for a Masquerade.

I decided to the the solitude of my thoughts and Nealoth to seek refuge away from the memories of the past. How long ago it seemed that the community was vibrant. Long ago did the times dismiss the Drow of Nealoth.. Jhannis and Xrizin. Even more painful still was the dissapearance of my great friends RaKarn Moon, Shannon, and Jalal.. I never thought the Spectral Court would not be around to grace us with their presence. Lastly and more painfully, although I would never admit in tongue. The lack of presence of my childe Gwen. I suppose that it would be some Illusion of Grandure for me to believe that they would not find their own meddlings after years of my dissapearance. But I will dare not beckon Garod. I am sure he would find quite the pleasure in my worries, and then he would meddle in my life dealings and choices. My eternal damnation to this even hell forsaken lands. When he offered me life, I never thought it would be without that of those who were kindred. I do not really want this gift anymore. I find little satisfaction in drinking and even less in manipulating those around me, perhaps time has caught up with me. But how does one change it? I know that long ago the Spectral Court or was it the Shadow Court had curred one of our type. Alas, finding one of them would be near impossible. I know of none that have enough information about us to even possibaly speculate on such matters. That is a lost thought, a thought that could never happen..

I travel to Trinsic, the same location that I always arrive in, The tree next to the high wall. My thoughts had still consumed be when a voice interrupted them. A drow? That is curious indeed. He was quite the inquisitive person. Alas, he claimed to speculate on that of my home. He claimed to be a half breed, a descendant of the Drow of Nealoth. He told me many things, none that really sparked much interest- but one was quite fascinating. He shared a secret with me... so I enlightened him of his speculations. The ever so hint of fear in his eyes sparked curiosity in my viens. This was a interesting conversation indeed. I will have to look for him more, so he can further enlighten me of the times. I hope he is worth my effort.