Remember who you are!

A quest of Virtue is what I remember calling it, possibly hiding a sub-conscious feeling that this was not about Virtue at all, but regardless it was my reasons for leaving and also the reason for my return. Truth be told, I never felt that I was welcome in the Hospitaller, their beliefs in Virtue were questionable, they called themselves Knights, but all I saw was Military Rabble. Perhaps I did not give them the truth of view that they deserved. Tabbitha, Lauranthalas, Meliadoul, Kaelith and Morgana were the only people that I could truthfully turn to and call Knights.

I swore an oath many long years ago to follow the Eight Virtues in the way that the Elders had requested. I swore an oath to uphold Lord Ethens values and defend that which he loved most. I swore an oath to Lord Samour that I would stand by my Order regardless of what the world threw at me. I have failed them at every turn. I failed my mentor, I failed my students, but one student has always given me hope. Standing on the verge of mental collapse, Lauranthalas guided me back to the Virtues that I had taught her about so many years ago, but the Virtues that guided the Hospitaller were not my Virtues. This is why I had to leave.

My Virtues were not created to tilt the balance in favour of the forces of Order, it was about Balance, and that is where I felt the misconceptions consumed nearly every Virtue following soul in our world. I took my beliefs, and left in search of the truth of my past and return knowing that it was not in vain. The Virtues teach us so many things and the path to balance for our daily lives, but tilted in the wrong direction, the Virtues become an instrument of destruction and evil. Lady Crystal Steele displayed this act, by turning on her own students, by slaughtering them in cold blood. Ever since I pushed my blade into her stomach I have questioned my beliefs.

On my journey, I turned to evils, which I thought un-imaginable to a Knight of the Virturi. I found that the only way to protect the Virtues was to break them. Against their will, I lied, I stole and I even murdered to see that the Virtues would prevail, but I could feel that it was not enough to satisfy. I could not challenge the whole world. I sought refuge and went into hiding for some time, trying to cure my mind from the clouded judgments that flowed through. I began to have dreams of my past, remembering of the times before the Virturi Massacre, when all of my old friends were together, when the Order stood as a shining beacon of hope in this dark and decaying world. My dreams got darker as I remembered the horrendous actions of madmen and the eventual turn of Crystal and the acts that she did.

One night, I awoke to find a vision of Crystal standing before my bed, asking me to follow her into the forest. We eventually arrived at the ruins of the Virturi Temple where she disappeared. I looked at the shattered stone walls, the torn paintings of old Knights, the rusted swords and broken staves that littered the floor. After reminiscing for nearly an hour into the night, I found a sheet of parchment, once in a frame that had now smashed open, the Virturi Code that I had once pledged myself too. I read through it, over and over, the words haunting my mind, but one line in particular, at the bottom continued to echo even after I had finished reading. “Remember who you are!”

Maybe that’s all I needed, something to remind me of my past. I returned to the Inn and gathered my belongings together, before heading home. It would take some to truly remind myself, but I would no longer stand as an instrument of madness and chaos. I choose Balance and Virtue.

I had spent the last few days, in the comfort of Valetta, the Knights Hospitaller fortress near Vesper. Lady Tabbitha was kind enough to grant me sanctuary until I could get my head back together. As the days went by, I watched the Hospitallers go about their business and it reminded me of my time with them before I left. I was always picking on their minor imperfections, viewing them as sheep without a Shepard, simply nodding in agreement with each other and going about their lives as if they had no will of their own. I loved them all, so much potential, but they were still children without guidance.

I spent many times talking with my old student Lauranthalas, who was clutching onto what was left of the ancient teachings, but I could feel that the teachings of the misguided virtues of Lord British were beginning to wash over her. I was not about to let that happen. Lauranthalas was more then just a student, she was my friend and I was not about to give up on her. Maybe it was the urge to continue to preserve the Virtues in my tradition that lead me to these feelings. Maybe I should have ignored them, but so long as there was an ounce of strength in my body, I would not give up on that which I had dedicated my entire life to protect.

I woke up one morning after deep meditation the night before. It was time to restore my faith. I had been away for so long; it was time to go back. I placed my clothing on after a quick wash and then headed to the stable to pick up my old steed Sacrifice. Together we rode to the Shrine of Sacrifice, a place of great meaning to me. When I arrived, I knew that I could not enter the service of my past without cleansing my immortal soul of its impurities. I took a knife to my hand, slicing it open and placing the blood onto the Ankh. I had murdered, I had stolen, I had lied, I had cheated and I had betrayed. These were acts in direct violation of the Virtues and the Code of the Virturi Order, acts that I committed to maintain the sanctity of Virtue.



We had always been raised to believe that forgiveness would be granted by the Elders, if ones heart was true and they would stray off the path of darkness and back onto the road of Virtue. If ones heart was not true, they would likely not waste their time asking for Forgiveness. After I was done, I wrapped a bandage around my hand and headed to the back of the Shrine. A loose stone in the wall, positioned behind a piller where nobody would be able to see, went into a narrow vault of sorts, containing a sack of items.

I picked up the bag and got back onto the Horse and rode back to Valetta. I placed the bag onto the bed before emptying it. I sighed out a smile when I looked at all of my things, my old armour, clothing, weapons, and books. Everything I left behind that I thought id never find again. It was time to understand who I was once more.

I took off the battered, black armour that id gotten to know over the last year and bit by bit started to put on my old Virturi Uniform. It was a perfect fit, as if it was the first day I had worn it. Time would tell however, if I was still worthy of their name.