[Shard] - Sosaria
[Type] - Misc
[Book] - Red - 20 pages

[Title] - Review Of The Toilet

[Author] - Stuffa



[Page 1]
There comes a time in a
man's life...

When one...

Must take matters, into
their own hands.


[Page 2]
It would seem that today,
would be the day that I
needed to do just that.

And so, after the
rumours. After the
slandering. After the
steak and kidney pie

[Page 3]
which had served me so
well through the day... I
finally decided, after 6
years of abstinence...

I needed the toilet.

And so, I went.

[Page 4]
A perfect and pristine
joy it was to me, to see
the construction of the
first real toilet, ever to
have graced mine eyes. It
was not a mere toilet.
Its cushioned, silky
smooth seat, and

[Page 5]
carefully, aesthetically and
ergonomically pleasing
countours, caused me
pleasure which I feel I
may never experience ever
again.

The skin of my lower


[Page 6]
pride, finally made contact
with the seat in that
Meer House.

It was a moment I shall
never forget.

And once the steak and

[Page 7]
kidney pie had met its'
maker, as one may say...

My joy was further met,
with the utilisation of
the derrier cleaning and
sterilisation facilities
which had also been

[Page 8]
provided as a full service
within this toiletry
experience.

This was not mere paper.
This was heaven.

Away! Away! The foul

[Page 9]
trolls and fiends that had
emerged from "Big Jim"
were dashed and slashed
into these finely
constructed pieces of
heaven.

And even after this, the

[Page 10]
use of the "Elvin Wash
Basin" was an experience
to top off the end of an
unforgettable journey.

I left, and returned home,
with silky smooth hands,
and a silky smooth Leroy

[Page 11]
Jenkins.

And so I conclude, ladies
and gentlemen...

Do not resist.

Use what facilities have


[Page 12]
been finally provided to
us.

Six YEARS, we have been
left in the cold. Only
now, have I experienced
true freedom.


[Page 13]
I will leave it at that.

Ten, out of ten.

Yours Sincerely,

Stuffa.