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Duchy of Trinsic Public Thread, The Trinsic Beacon in Duchy of Trinsic Forums; Monday, 12th Day of October Crowning Glory (Jolie Richesse) My very dear readers, I was on Sunday awarded the most ...
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Old 12th October 2009, 04:08 PM   #31
 
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Monday, 12th Day of October



Crowning Glory
(Jolie Richesse)


My very dear readers, I was on Sunday awarded the most extreme privilege – to attend the coronation of our new Queen! First a few of us met the Queen at the East Side Park to parade with her to the castle. Not many took the trouble to do that, but naturally our beloved Duke led those from Trinsic to support her on the short journey.

It is perhaps unfortunate that the body of the soi-disant king Casca is still left decaying outside the castle – although without question his demise is most undoubtedly a cause of celebration, a rotting corpse cannot help but cast something of a gloominess over any proceedings (not to mention the unpleasant odour!).

However, once past the guarding Knights Templar and within the throne room, all was rejoicing and merriment. Not only our Duke was to be seen but many other notables from around the lands, in a profusion of colour and gaiety not seen for many months. Even some of the Yewish had come to pay their respects (or perhaps not, as there were several strange remarks during the ceremony and one of them most rudely accosted her afterwards, but all things are possible).

All were happy to see our new Queen – although I must with regret comment that she dresses still in the so-notorious white dress and yellow cloak. They are certainly of a distinction quite unlike all else, but the colours cannot flatter. Still, I have hopes that perhaps one day she will hear the words of Jolie and find some clothes of more comfort to the eyes!

Of course, we have not had a coronation for many many years, and none present knew what to expect. The ceremony was found a little odd in the minds of some, for it was done apparently to some archaic rite of the Avatarian Church. The prayers and oaths and rituals were performed most knowledgeably but with some stress on the part of the Archbishop – who must be a most obscure scholar for no-one seemed to know him. Truly, his worry was such that he nearly fainted at the end! Few but our own Duke seemed to notice his distress, but Queen Dawn allowed him to make a swift exit. I Jolie and others at the Beacon send him good wishes for speedy recovery.

Following the ceremony the Queen came down to the reception and mingled with her loyal subjects, some of whom were emboldened to give her their best wishes. The food and wine was sadly rather limited and swiftly disposed of, with most barely seeing a crumb. It is most sincerely to be hoped that the catering at the castle is something that will be considered soon. But one must not allow this to cause melancholy and depression, for Britannia has now a new Queen and all should rejoice!

A bientôt mes amis!




Of Oils and Trinkets – A Commentary
(PLC)


Once more a ruler was crowned. And it is our honour and pleasure here at the Beacon to wish Queen Dawn and the entire realm the very best for the times to come.

The coronation turned out to be a confusing event. Even more, it turned out to be a mirror of the realm as it is now: a confusion of beliefs, of rituals and habits. As Queen Dawn was blessed and anointed by gods unknown, by heroes of old and in the style of avatarians and sects and the virtues themselves the true problem of our age became apparent.

Lord British was not only a monarch and ruler. He was a visionary. He presented a system of beliefs and a code of conduct to the people, with which they could identify. And while each region concentrated on one aspect of the virtues, they were all unified and incorporated by them. Now, many years after the departure of the beloved King, his legacy is nearly forgotten.

In between the Shadowlords, the avatarians, the sects and self-proclaimed knights and templars the original, the one true teaching of the virtues has been nearly forgotten. And with it, a powerful bond that connected the individual parts of the realm.

Our newly anointed Queen will have many tasks at hand and many battles to fight. However, the first battle should be the reestablishment of the original, the true teaching of Lord British’s Virtue. If Britannia reclaims what it lost, then it will be able to bloom again in strength and unity. If the queen fails to achieve this, then the fracturing of her realm will continue; a silent shattering beyond which there will be no realm left to govern.




Murder in Trinsic
(PLC)


Already in the last week, a dreadful murder shocked the citizens of Trinsic. Due to ongoing investigations, the Beacon was asked not to report about it until now. Marvin, a fisherman of Trinsic and his wife, Jenny, were murdered. They leave their daughter, five year old Naomi, who is now in the care of the orphanage.

The murder took place at the Sons of the Seas, the building of the resident fishing and trading company. Eye-witnesses describe the scene as ‘horrible’ with ‘blood all over’ and the bodies ‘horribly mutilated’. So far, the Beacon was not given an official statement concerning the investigations. However, rumour has it that several arrests had been made since the murder.

We will report as soon as we learn more.



Feuilleton


Wildlife of Ter-Mur I : The Boura
(by Stewan Seagull)


Boura is the gargl name of a creature that seems like an unlikely cross of dragon and sheep. It’s plump body looks a bit like a giant gaman, but stands even taller, some six to nine feet at the shoulder.

Boura are important semi-domestic animal to the Gargoyles, with two breeds, the lowland and ruddy boura, herded bi-annually for furs and often butchered for meat, leather and the male’s strong shoulder-pads.
It’s hide is of a yellowish-green base colour with woolly shoulder-pads of a distinct colour, marking the actual breed. A third breed, the high plains boura, seems to be descended from ruddy bouras gone wild and show a more ferocious nature.

Unwary travellers are known to be stampeded or gored by those mighty beasts.

They gargoyle produce several articles from boura. First there is rough but sturdy wool, used in many everyday uses. Their leather, especially the sturdy shoulder-part is used for armor and garments, just like we use bovine or reptile hides. It was told the bouras’ blood finds use in the gargish schools of magic. The meat is prepared in various ways, but never used for special occasions. It’s taste is, to the britannian tongue, unusual, maybe best described as a mix of mutton and chicken, with a distinct tangy flavour to the meat of the males. While the boura don’t give milk as such the female secretes a thick, sweet paste to nourish their young. Probably the effort needed to gather it precludes it’s wide-spread use, should anyone come up with one.

Rumours tell that very old males rarely develop a bony structure under their shoulder-pad that can, with little work, be used as a shield.




The Story of Farmer Nash
(by Sean Llyonadhadd, Watchman)


This is the Holy City, Ter-Mur. There´s many a story here and you are about to read one of them.

It was Tuesday, the 29th of September, I was idly riding along through the Holy Town, when a gargoyle approached me:
"To work in peace. To not be eaten." he said.
"To be Bad Things hide under bad plants. I am urgent to work-thing of mine. Will unwinged help?"

Seeing a citizen in distress I agreed and rounded his farm to find an overgrown field in the back. Blueish bushy weeds covered the place and in those bushes the rustling and swishing of covert movements could be heard.

I slowly entered the field, looking for the gargoyles farming implement when a snake struck from the underbrush. Pulling back my hand I stomped it’s head, not willing to let this creature impede me.

But soon enough more movement caught my eye as a yellowish-brown creature jumped me from the side, raking at my leathers with it’s hind-claws. I turned to face the retreating beast but just then a blow struck my back, from where a similar creature had quietly approached. Luckily I was able to put down both, but more was yet to come.

Much later, after several such attacks, I picked up a worn pitchfork and took it to the gargoyle farmer. He took it from me, let his hands glide over it and said: "To be this not my work-thing, not true thing. But thank. To be taking this things as thank."

I took what he offered so freely, just trinkets, mind, and was on my way again.




The Hor(r)o(r)scope for October
(by Cassandre d'Troi)


Editor’s note: we apologise for the lack of horoscopes for the last few months. Cassandre claims that she foresaw the incident with the pirates which led to her being kidnapped and held for ransom, but unfortunately forgot to inform the office in advance.
* She was released without a ransom after persistently foreseeing terrible doom for them if they didn’t let her go.


October - Whisky (the Rat)
Acting with confidence is something you will find it easy to do this month, though it is unlikely to save you from the stampede of alligators which will pass through your house shortly. This is to some extent your fault for not dealing with the infestation in the river at the bottom of your garden.

November - Puff (the Magic Dragon)
This is a month for being extremely generous in financial matters. In particular, it is important that you do not mortally offend a bridge troll by failing to pay reasonable tribute. Otherwise you will be left with a trollish vendetta against you, which will make your already rather tenuous social existence even more empty.

December - Theseus (the Minotaur)
On balance, the majority of this month is rather better than the last one. Indeed, the first three weeks will be quite pleasant, so make the most of them. However, if you were thinking of making any plans for the end of the month, don’t bother. Or at least change them to incorporate a funeral.

January - Dontfear (the Reaper)
The Titans you made friends with a few months ago will try to tempt you into dubious social pleasures, such as seeing who can down the most ratman cheese and orc cider in one sitting. It is recommended not to do this, although the suicidal impulse that will strike you around the middle of the month may make it seem attractive.

February - Vlad (the Vampire Bat)
The planetary conjunctions are quite favourable this month, for a change. Unfortunately you will not really be in a position to appreciate this, as a freak storm will by now have struck you with lightning and, if you survived, you will be in a coma for several weeks.

March - Frosty (the Snow Elemental)
Your communication skills may suffer this month, and you will find it hard to express yourself in many areas. In consequence, this would not be a good time to embark on any alterations to your personal life. Specifically, do not invite your new and very attractive next door neighbour out for a drink, unless you never want to hear from them again.

April - Shrek (the Ogre)
Your love life has never really been your strongest point, but this month you can be cautiously optimistic. An opportunity will present itself around the 18th or 19th of the month. True, lizardmen/lizardwomen may not be the most wonderful of people, but it might work out better than all your previous disasters.

May - Mat (the Daemon)
This is not a good month to be living in a swampy area, as the stars are extremely favourable for plague beasts, and they will be spending most of the month partying. Their idea of what constitutes a good party is unlikely to be yours. An extended holiday might be a good idea.

June - Ming (the Mongbat)
You will experience some interesting developments in your life this month when you unexpectedly become a fetish object for the tribe of savages near Delucia in the Lost Lands. A bodyguard might be useful, unless you want to be kidnapped and worshipped for an indefinite period of time.

July - Leon (the Sphynx)
Don’t go near any turnips this month. Spears should also be avoided.

August - Fead (the Troll)
The colour brown is extremely bad for you over the next few weeks. Even mongbats will be giving you trouble. To save embarrassment, stay inside all month. You can occupy the time repainting your dingy living room – as I said, brown is not a good colour.

September - Deck (the Ant Lion)
The stars are strongly suggestive of danger connected with water this month. This may simply mean that you will drown, or perhaps suffer severe floods, or possibly only that a kraken may find you convenient for a tasty snack. I recommend a month in the desert south of Umbra, but try not to pass over any rivers on the way, just in case.
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Old 19th October 2009, 12:08 PM   #32
 
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Monday, 19th Day of Oktober

Extra Edition




Vesperian Warmongers Strike Again!
(PLC)


Sunday night saw the beginning of another war shamelessly kindled by the vesperian bane in the north. While still preaching their clueless propaganda about the traditionally loyalist town of Minoc being ‘West Vesper’, they unleashed their armies upon the good citizens of the realm again. Led by the chief warmonger Olk Samsca (otherwise known as the mushroom man) the former ‘militia’ moved out to bring death and destruction to the already war-ridden Minoc once again.

Just one night before they appeared to bring so-called ‘Vesperian citizens’ from Minoc ‘home’. While attending guardsmen report that some of the rabble left, we cannot fail to notice that all the productive and valuable citizens of Minoc remained to help in the defense of their homeland. Under the guidance and expertise of the Duchy Peacekeeping force, the citizens erected a temporary barricade around the town to assist in the defenders.


However, not all displayed such valuable and far-sighted strategic capacity. Following a much simplified and almost childish battle plan (look mommy, it’s even got cannons painted in!) the temporary leader of the knights templar, a certain ‘Gendin’ decided to abandon the strategically valuable positions around Minoc. Instead, he charged heedlessly into the dense woods, where his troops were quickly and efficiently devastated by the better oriented vesperian forces. However, apparently unruffled by his own incompetence, the knight led just another charge against the vesperians on similarily unfavourable ground… with foreseeable outcome.

Duke Irvyn Middlethorn, who was present to oversee the battle, told the Beacon that despite his advise the strongly fortified positions in and around Minoc had been abandoned. He also expressed his hope that on the following days, the expertise and strategic knowledge of the Duchy forces would not be ignored such readily in favour of unsound and rushed battle plans.




Queen Rallies Support for Minoc
(PLC)


Despite the dire situation, a spark of hope glimmers as the Realm rallies support for its northernmost town. According to a spokesperson at court, Royal Commander Avery is leading a division of the royal army to support the defense of Minoc. In addition, Queen Dawn herself called the people to arms to stand against the enemies of the realm.

Only the yewish militia seemed torn and undecided during the meeting last night at Castle Britain. While some of its members strained to rush to the help of those already in battle, the commanders still held them back. Voices from the population of Minoc could be heard that believe that this is merely a wait for a dramatic entrance, but this is pure speculation at this time. Indeed, Major Sakaki Mai from Trinsic told the Beacon that a formal request for aid had been sent by the templar to Yew and that a reply was still outstanding.

With reports from the royal army indicating that heavy rainfalls delayed the march of the troops from Britain to the north every capable fighter will be needed in order to protect the realm from bloodthirsty invaders.



Prophecies for the Faithful
(PLC)


Nearly disregarded over the old threats to the realm a new one has arisen in its very heart. According to the statements of Shunsaki Yun and a young tokunese woman, the Archbishop has been plagued by a vision of looming disaster. In the meantime, a diary in his handwriting has been found which seems to confirm these rumours. What is listed therein might mean an immediate danger not only to single individuals, but to the entire world no less. The rising of a dark alliance, against which only the virtues offer a defense.

Even stranger is that the recently elusive Nathan Hawke appears to be at the centre of this. The Archbishop himself hints at a struggle of the virtues, which might well decide the fate of this world, if this prophecy can be believed. The Beacon thus urges those that meet Nathan Hawke to tell him to consult with the Queen or those that are investigating the rumours of this prophecy. If in doubt, the Beacon will be able to establish a contact with some of its sources.



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Old 26th October 2009, 01:28 PM   #33
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Monday, 26th Day of Oktober




Mericles Defeated!?
(PLC)


This news reached us last night, yet we are uncertain whether this is the end of a beginning or the beginning of the end. Generally, the death of a necromancer and fearsome foe like Mericles would be a great achievement and step towards the safety of the realm. This time however, the circumstances of his demise give reason for doubt.

For one, Queen Dawn herself decided that such an act does not befit her realm and the virtues. Thus, by disobeying her direct orders, Nathan Hawke might be considered guilty of treason (possibly out of habit, after dislodging one false king from the throne). Worse, however, is the prophecy which the venerable Archbishop of Britain revealed to the citizens of the realm. From what we gathered, it warns in not uncertain tones that the very deed that was done last night might lead to the destruction and death of Sosaria!

So far, the Beacon did not manage to acquire a statement from court concerning these events. However, it is shocking and deeply disappointing, that the fate of Sosaria lies on the shoulders of those who proved themselves to be unworthy. None should make decisions of such gravity without consultation of the Queen and those more knowledgeable in this affair. As such, the arrogance of Nathan Hawke is nothing but stunning. According to the reports, Mericles was more or less smothered to death, with its murderers falling over the corpse to desecrate and plunder his belongings. This must not be how justice is dealt in Britannia.



The Days after…
(PLC)


A newspaper might attempt to be fast, but it could not hope to beat the news of the successful defense of Minoc, which flew from town to town as the successful armies returned. As such, we have spent the last days to gather some statements and opinions from the victorious commanders and armies as well as from Minoc itself.

Duke Irvyn Middlethorn of Trinsic – Initiator of the Peacekeeping Mission to Minoc

Quote:
I am asked by the Beacon to comment on the recent battles in defence of Minoc.

I must begin by saying how glad I am that the peacekeepers were able to stand firm against those who would imprison the town again. Thankfully we were able to evacuate the majority of citizens before the conflict came anywhere near the town. The disruption was unfortunate, and I wish that it could have been avoided; however, as a result, there were no casualties amongst those who live in Minoc. It is my understanding that most if not all of the residents have now returned and life and business is resuming there. I personally spoke to several Minocians who came to thank us after the first night of fighting.

It is hard to express my pride in those of Trinsic who went to risk their lives in defence of Minoc. First and foremost, the Honour of Trinsic was upheld – something I never doubted would happen, but to see it so publicly demonstrated puts the lie once and for all to those who claim Trinsic is weak and takes no action. The Valour and Sacrifice revealed were beyond measure. The Virtues were truly shown in Minoc, as they are every day in Trinsic.

To show my personal appreciation for the honour and valour of those Trinsicicans who contributed to the defence, I have commissioned a special medal for every person who assisted. These will be awarded next Wednesday at the regular training session in Minoc.


Captain Bladius Dart, Commander of the Yewish Militia

Quote:
Well, it was good to see that even if we can't get along on a day to day basis...we can all work together for a greater cause, such as defending Minoc. The soldiers, whether they be Knights, Trinsician, Skara Braen, Covian or Yewish... All showed great heart in rallying to an epic victory.

The people of Britannia should feel safe and secure in the knowledge that these men and women patrol their borders and protect their streets.

*when asked about the next steps*
Ultimately it depends on whether Vesper intend to sit down and talk. To be honest, they've been given too many opportunities for peace. They invade, they're repelled, we sign peace treaties. They break them, invade again are repelled then sue for peace and we agree. It is one lengthy cycle of bloodshed with no real consequence for the true antagonists. And so I imagine another peace whilst we all rebuild our forces in preparation for another onslaught.


Gendin the Good, Commander of the Knights Templar

Quote:
I want to wish everyone to enjoy the peace which has come with the Victory -however brief it might be. I want to give my gratitude to all those men siding besides us in the defence of the City and the crown, for aiding the city with forces.

The Order shall remain in cooperation with Trinsic within the City. Our brethren are tired, and we do hope for a few days of rest, but diplomacy must be resumed when it comes to the politics of Minoc. Thus, I'd wish to summon a meeting between the peacekeepers and the Queen, or at least her diplomats.

*when asked about the chances of a lasting peace*
Lasting? Nay, not with their current Chansellor. But we may do our best to prolong the peace. And remain prepared.

The Battle was fought with outstanding results. No civilian casualties. Nor any major damage to the city. I'm most pleased.


Major Sakaki Mai, Commander of the Trinsic Peackeeper Division

Quote:
I cannot think of words to describe how impressed I've been with those that fought to protect Minoc from Republic occupation, far from the heart of the Kingdom, on the edge of the Republic-claimed lands.
Even with limited supplies, and so far from their home cities, the combined forces of the Kindgom pushed the Vesperians and their allies back, securing the city of Minoc and its borders.
It has been a great honour to fight alongside our allies, the Knights Templar and the soldiers of the loyal cities of the Kingdom, and I hope that this unity will continue.

Above all, I am proud to have worn the colours of Trinsic during the battle.
The people of Trinsic who came to the defence of Minoc, beside former enemies and against former allies, left no virtue unrepresented. Citizens, peacekeepers and watch members alike.
It was not only an honour to lead them, but also to fight with them.


Jolie Richesse, Beacon Correspondent in (post war) Minoc

Quote:
Dear friends in Trinsic, and also those in Minoc, today we are surely rejoicing! And why? Because the peacekeepers of Trinsic have kept the peace in Minoc and it remains free!

The staunch defenders, led by the heroic Major Sakaki and Captain Reann, stood firm in the face of all the Vesperians could do. Alas for the passing of Vesper’s glory! From their friendly and peaceful relations of recent times – indeed almost one might say civilised! - and even statements that they trusted Trinsic to look after Minoc, they now have reverted to their former warlike intentions. And yet again, if they have their way, poor Minoc will be paying the price.

But! The noble defenders succeeded. Strong barricades were built and maintained by Trinsic, and were not breached or abandoned, despite some so-called plans of battle in the forest. The injured were brought into town to be cared for and remained in safety, as also did those citizens who were not evacuated. And after 3 days of most horrible attacks, during which no Minocian was harmed, Trinsic was victorious and Vesper has retreated to lick its wounds. Some of the people of Minoc came to thank the Duke in person! And with great relief the citizens have returned now to their home and again go about their business, with happiness and celebrating.

Of course there were some others there, such as the Knights Templar with their bright armour and love of just charging at anything without thought. Our allies from Skara Brae fought nearly as bravely as did the Trinsicians. Even Cove and Yew came to help, loyal to the pledges made during the peace talks held in Trinsic by our beloved Duke, who surely is once more proved right in all his decisions! In fact, my good friend and editor Pierre has told me that a Yewian even said that Trinsic was being sensible for once! So perhaps they are not all so ignorant as we might think!

A little bird has whispered to me that the Duke will be issuing medals to those brave men and women of Trinsic who fought at Minoc with such valour to keep it free. There is certainly no-one now who can say that Trinsicians are weak and unable to fight! We look forward then to this ceremony, and no-one will now doubt the nobility and valour of Trinsic!

A bientôt mes amis!


Feuilleton

Find Sherry!
(PLC)


Hello Children !

With all the fuss that the grown-ups are making about that pretty town called Minoc, Sherry wanted to go and visit the people there, too. It is a laaarge town with many people and Sherry visited a lot of them. But she liked it best in the smithy, where the warmth from the fires and the busy ringing made it interesting and comfortable. One of our artists made a picture there, so… can you find Sherry ?



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Old 14th December 2009, 04:45 PM   #34
 
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Monday, 14th Day of Dezember



Better Orcs ?
(PLC)


Once more we have to report about orcish activity. According to numerous clues, the strange seed pods grown by Mericles have sprouted into a new breed of orcs, which now plan the demise of the city of Britain. Supported by the shady dealings of the so-called “New Order” they apparently plan an attack on the City of Britain, to begin once Big Bob, their supposed leader, has returned to lead them into battle.

Already, Lieutenant Fynn Barrett is preparing the defences while members of the Royal Guard have swarmed out to apprehend Big Bob and to learn more about the secret dealings of this ‘New Order’ and its allies. As of yet, the plans of the orcs have not been fully uncovered. While a large amount of their time seems dedicated to the preparations of the invasion, there are still many riddles concerning their new masters as well as the figures behind the ‘New Order’. On request of Lieutenant Barrett we shall not offer more details on the partly secret investigations, though we make a call for all loyal citizens of the realm to assist in the efforts to quell this new danger to the realm.




Drow Show Crumbles to Fairy Dust
(PLC)


On Monday night, the drow show visited the town, serving delightful tales of treachery and tricks. However, it appears that Matron Vierna’s fragile grasp on leadership and influence is crumbling drastically, seeing how she lost control over the drowish rabble that accompanied her to the meeting. At first they tried to look to her, but when she failed to deliver any form of leadership they broke apart into their own rabid frenzy, suddenly attacking the attending guards and paladins without apparent reasons. It seems that their former leader’s claims to have come for a peaceful talk meant nothing to the following horde, which was only intend on bloodshed.

In the end, the failed attack was dispatched efficiently, without any danger to the Duke, who gave us this statement after the encounter:

Quote:
Vierna, the supposed leader of all drow in Sosaria, came to speak with me, ostensibly peacefully, though this was belied by later events. She claims that treason is plotted in the north, apparently to sow seeds of suspicion and keep us divided. She spoke openly of a threat from outside, of which we are aware, with the orcs and the ‘New Order’. She denies involvement in this, but I remain convinced that either she assisted the escape of Big Bob personally, or she is fully aware of what is going on. I suspect that she is on the side of the New Order, and wishes to assist their nefarious activities. I ask all citizens to continue their vigilance: be wary of drowish activity as well as orcish.



Ratting Out…
(PLC)


Lately, both the City of Trinsic as well as the surrounding lands have been beset by a plague of rats, which have appeared in large numbers. Witnesses even saw entire herds of them scurry around town in their search for food. Already, farmers complain about destroyed crops while more and more citizens and shopkeepers suffer from damages of property and merchandise. Even the desired wildlife, such as pets, cats and dogs have suffered from the plague, with many of them falling to the vicious rodents.

From the office of mayor Gwen Irma we recieved a statement saying that already a ratcatcher has been hired and will soon begin to tackle this rather disgusting situation. Possible connections between the rat plague and the orcish activites are being investigated and cannot yet be ruled out.

We could continue to be-rat-e the situation and speak of the rat-ling noises in the night or the b-rat-ish behaviour of the little buggers and how they break open c-rat-es and leave c-rat-ers wherever they nest… but then we would have to move this article into the Feuilleton.




Quickly Noted
(PLC)


The gang war in Trinsic seems to have intensified, with two more dead in the last two weeks. According to the City Watch the investigations are continuing and the first suspects have been caught. Citizens are asked to remain vigilant and to report any criminal or suspicious activity to the City Watch immediately.

In the light of the rat plague the Duke’s and mayor’s office have confirmed rumours that a tax-reduction for affected farms is being considered.



Feuilleton


Ho Ho Ho
(PLC)


On behalf of Duke Irvyn Middlethorn and the citizens of the Duchy of Trinsic we invite you to attend the great Trinsic Christmas Party! Come and celebrate the season, be merry and have a wonderful time with all the events and happenings that are being planned for your enjoyment.




Here be... gazers?
(PLC)


On Saturday night, little Amber, six years old, suffered the grievous loss of her favourite stuffed dragon at the hands of the vile Thomas (age seven). While this might seem sweet and innocent enough to most adults, Amber soon departed on a most serious quest to claim another dragon for herself. Of course, even children know that Destard is the place to be whenever it comes to any draconic needs though the fact that those are generally unstuffed (unless with careless adventurers) and also lack that certain endearing fluffiness often gets overlooked.

Fortunately, Amber did not get very far from the town, although a different adventure befell her in the woods, where she encountered an elder gazer. Convinced that it was the evil see-all that apparently spies on the misdoings of children (and probably had already eaten Thomas for his crime) she hid in the most unlikely place, which was the entrance to the vast solen tunnels. Only through the tireless efforts of the Trinsic City Watch and especially of Watchman Sean L., who valiantly defeated the gazer and recued little Amber, could the girl be returned to the safety of the orphanage.

In the meantime, the Beacon has sponsored a new stuffed dragon, as well as toys for nearly all other children, with the exception of a suddenly very sorry little boy. So at least one little world is fine again.



The Hor(r)o(r)scope for October
(by Cassandre d'Troi)


December - Theseus (the Minotaur)
You may have heard the expression: “bull in a china shop”. This describes you very well this month, as everything you touch is likely to be destroyed. A bit like a reverse Midas touch. I would suggest staying in bed all month, but that will break too. Put the mattress on the ground instead.

January - Dontfear (the Reaper)
You may run into an old lover round about the 10th or 11th of this month. They’ll be looking for a favour, and the stars are suggestive of material advantage if you agree. However, don’t think about trying to rekindle old flames, unless Kal Vas Flam is what you were thinking of.

February - Vlad (the Vampire Bat)
Your main problem this month is likely to be orcs behaving badly, but then they often do so you should be ready for it. Round about the middle of the month, perhaps the 15th or 16th, you will receive an unexpected invitation to a winter party. You could go, but be careful of the fruitcake, as it was made when both the moons were dark, which is a very bad omen.

March - Frosty (the Snow Elemental)
You finally get the chance to meet Lady Melisande, but you may not find she is the girl of your dreams after all, more like nightmares. Take her a nice Christmas present and perhaps she won’t rip your head off. But make a will before you leave, just in case.

April - Shrek (the Ogre)
Emotions may drive you strongly this month, but you must take care to avoid being trapped by them. Don’t let your heart rule your head. It may seem like good sense to go for the only being of the opposite sex who’s shown any interest in you for so long, but trust me, hellcats do not make good life partners. There’s a clue in the name.

May - Mat (the Daemon)
There are large patterns in your life which you need to solve to advance this month. Be careful which ones you choose to solve, however, as the wrong one will cause an entrance to the void to open up in your kitchen. Fortunately void demons can be pacified quite easily with frequent cups of coffee, but cooking is certainly going to be much more difficult.

June - Ming (the Mongbat)
Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, for you this month the planetary phases move out of alignment and the Delucian Savages no longer find you suitable as a fetish object. Instead, you are more likely to be thought of as lunch. It is to be hoped you did not neglect your keep-fit exercises whilst being worshipped, so you will be able to run away.

July - Leon (the Sphynx)
It would be best to avoid eggs this month. Also shovels and pickaxes.

August - Fead (the Troll)
The planetary conjunction at the start of the month is not looking good, with your normal liability to make dreadful mistakes even worse than usual. However, if you survive, which on balance looks unlikely, the planets are more harmonious for the next few weeks. Enjoy it while it lasts.

September - Deck (the Ant Lion)
This winter is likely to be cold with a lot of snow on the ground. A skiing holiday is not a good idea, however, as the stars are definitely suggesting some sort of physical problem striking in the second half of the month, such as a broken leg.

October - Whisky (the Rat)
Legal problems may strike again this month, but if you can, put off dealing with them until next month. That way you can avoid the remarkably disastrous confluence of the moons and the outer planets in your sign which will dominate the final week of the month. For the first three weeks there is only a mild conjunction which won’t do more than cause a few deaths, or plagues of acid elementals, that sort of thing.

November - Puff (the Magic Dragon)
There will be a big family occasion in the second half of the month, which will require all your tact and diplomacy to get through without mortally offending several relatives. As tact and diplomacy aren’t really your strong points, perhaps it would be better to avoid it. Although having all the family already gathered will make it simpler to organise the funeral.



An OOC note from the Beacon...

I would like to apologise for the long absence of the Beacon. However, sometimes other creative matters get into the way of it and occasionally, they are more important. So the Beacon is back and for those that know it, here is the reason for its absence :


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Monday, 4th Day of the New Year

The Beacon wishes You, our faithful Readers, a Happy and Joyful New Year!




’Democracy’ Strikes Back...
(PLC)


In a sudden and unexpected move, the Chancellor of the Republic of Vesper was first deposed and, soon after, disposed of.

In a plot, seemingly formed between Escaflowne and Hanse Davion, reigning chancellor Olk Samsca was informed at a public meeting that he was a waste of space and that he was to step down immediately - or be removed by force. On his refusal to go quietly, he was mercilessly attacked and beaten senseless. Hanse Davion then stepped up as temporary chancellor, literally over Olk's (apparently) dead body. This caused immediate uproar, leading to a vote on Monday whether the people accepted him as replacement or not. The result of this chaos appears to be that Davion is to remain temporary chancellor until an election has been held.

Up to now there is no report if the former Ruler Olk Samsca survived and is held prisoner or died in their coup d'etat.

Furthermore, the meeting included a list of future changes in the Republic, most of them concerning either war or games, some of them even both. Judging by the comments Vesper is already planning another futile campaign against the realm. Lastly, full citizenship and protection was offered to all that had helped Vesper in the past, including known criminals and madmen such as the Collegium.





A Symbol of Power – A Commentary
(PLC)


Dear Readers, the symbol of chaos which graces the shields and banners of the Republic of Vesper bears with it a long and dreadful history. Many years ago it was the sign of a man wishing to find an alternate way, a man who took a philosophical idea beyond the final borders of sense and virtue. And like that man once, who tore himself apart until nothing was left but a murderous monstrosity, so is Vesper about to rip out the remnants of its heart and soul.

Chaos rules again, with assassins clearing the throne of one incapable man to make way for the next. Olk the ‘Mushroom Man’, well known for his madness and odd habits, is bloodily replaced by Hanse Davion, a man known for his love of war and the recent episodes where he happily admitted to having eaten a human corpse. His statement that he would not run himself in the upcoming election (provided it can be trusted) certainly comes as a relief. The hopes of the Realm now lie on the chance that the previous Chancellor Escaflowne will run again, a man who had proven his ability to rule rather than to just wage war blindly.

In addition, Vesper opens its sewers for the scum and leftovers of the realm. A failed dream grasping for drow, criminals and madmen as its last straw. Already the drums of war are beating, with the simple - and singleminded - way that the claims on “west Vesper” are upheld; an absurd and doomed attempt to conquer land from the realm and to enslave honest citizens. How now shall it end? Long ago, a man and his ideas failed in wave of blood, metal and disaster. If it comes to that again, the Realm will stand strong as it did then.






Yew Bomber on Trial!
(PLC)


Yesterday night, two citizens of Yew were put on trial by the Yewish Church to answer for the crimes of murder, assault and treachery along with many more minor charges. One of the suspects was Darien De’Mirio, according to our sources once an influential noble in Yew. De’Mirio appeared to be of questionable health both mentally and physically, which did not seem to bother the court who even accepted the suspect asking for his imagined brother to be his defender.

The second trial, that of footman (footwoman?) Millicent was taken more seriously, with a more capable defender speaking in her favour against the numerous charges laid down before the judge. Apparently, she was accused by De’Mirio himself, who, despite his questionable alignment with the real world, brought the Militia on the trail of the young woman. In an emotional and heated trial, the defender managed to dispel many of the charges, yet ultimately she was declared guilty of several crimes, as well as De’Mirio himself.

To the surprise of the assembled people and even the Militia itself, she was sentenced to be burned alive, a terrible and inhumane punishment usually reserved for "wytches" in Yew. However, while the members of the Militia prepared the pyre for the execution, the condemned woman was led to the church for last prayers and was able to flee from there. Despite a search conducted immediately by the Militia she stayed gone and must be considered escaped. If she has any sense, she will stay that way.





A Dragon’s Egg?
(ELE)


A confidential meeting was held last night between the Duke and other representatives of the Duchy, Lady Flame, Egan, and Nathan Hawke to discuss the use of a powerful magical artifact against the current orc threat. We are only permitted to report brief details of this meeting, for obvious reasons.

The item in question was recently retrieved from Dungeon Destard by the Duchy for an unspecified purpose, but was not initially intended as a weapon. Indeed, the Duke specifically ruled out its use against any enemy other than the orcs, stating that it was too dangerous.

In order to use it at all, however, the effects must be controlled or limited in some way. Duchy experts are unable to ascertain how this might be done at present. To better understand it, the origins of the artifact are to be explored, with an expedition to the Yew Crypts taking place on Wednesday. It is believed that this is where it was created.





Big Bounties
(ELE)

According to a spokesman the Trinsic City Watch has managed to root out a larger hideout of a smuggler gang in Trinsic. The hideout was discovered during ongoing investigations and large amounts of illegal goods, amongst them especially necromantic goods, weapons, armour, poison and addictive substances have been confiscated and destroyed. While the City Watch cannot yet reveal more information, to not endanger the investigations, we have been told that progress has been made and that several criminals had been apprehended.

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Saturday, 23rd Day of January



How to build a better Orctrap
(PLC)


A new weapon has come into the hands of the Queendom of Sosaria, found and wielded by the usually honourable and peace–loving southern Duchy. Researchers from Trinsic, under the guidance of Lady Kendra, a renowned magician, have discovered an old and magical gem, which once wreaked havoc on the lands around its hiding place. Now, with the magical effects contained and focused it is to be used against the New Order, the recently surfaced tribe of orcs that distinguishes itself from its more savage brethren by their stronger stature, intelligence, and being able to use technology.

On Thursday evening, after considerable argument and several walkouts, despite the plan having been known about for a while, the gem was placed in the depths of the orc caves in what can only be described as a badly planned and executed operation. During this (not exactly subtle) infiltration by the Royal Guard, one of the New Order orcs, apparently imprisoned by his own kind for some sort of theological disagreement, was taken back to Trinsic for questioning. Meanwhile, the gem is expected to perform its magic, though the Beacon could not gather any information concerning the nature and extent of its expected effects.

Both the idea for this weapon as well as the execution of this operation carry the signature of mediocre strategist and untrustworthy advisor Nathan Hawke. The Beacon will attempt to report about the effects of this magical weapon as soon as they become apparent.




Of Orcs and Other Monsters – A Commentary
(PLC)


A reporter is generally in a good position. He just needs to report what is happening, without the burden of the decisions that bring forth the situation that he observes. Of late, there have been many such decisions for which we do not envy the ones that made them. The decision to employ the magical curse against one of Sosaria’s greatest threats, the New Order, must have been a hard one and the Duke, along with everything else that happened lately, seemed visibly troubled by it. To make it short, the Beacon disagrees with the decision that was made, though we are able to respect that it stood at the end of a long and difficult decision process.

However, where we easily assume the Duke to be a responsible man, consciously aware of his duties and the risks of his decisions, we cannot help but feel concerned by Hawke’s recent blundering through the realm. While admitting himself that his mind was affected during one of the expeditions of the Royal Guard, he almost carelessly claims magical items, of which he could not truly know anything, as weapons. Weapons wielded by whom, exactly?

Even the Queen’s control on this man appears to be fleeting at least. Nor did he ever pledge himself and his actions to the virtues. Who then, does this man now represent? Sosaria? His own means or those of an unknown party? Is it not time to lift the veil of illusions from this man to truly judge him by his character? Of course, Hawke did great deeds defeating the traitor to the crown, Casca. But is that enough to follow this one man blindly wherever he leads? Should we perhaps be questioning how it is that he retains so much influence?

In the end, it is worth remembering that a true and just man needs not fear scrutiny, nor fear the questioning of his reason, sense and motives. Why then, do we shy away from demanding more than simplified arguments and vague hints from a man that pretends to be the saviour of our beloved queendom?




Where the Wild Spirits g(r)o(w)
(PLC)


On Wednesday night the second plague of the seven that the Lich Arysoun Takhista cursed Trinsic with struck, in the form of ghostly reapers. Oddly enough the very alive tree spirits grew in the Duke’s office, waiting for unfortunate souls to open the door and thus spring the trip.

When that was finally attempted, the true strength of the spirits became blindingly obvious, with the glow from the ensuing lightning storm clearly visible even from the distant City of Britain. Throughout the night healers worked frantically to bring the wounded back to their feet and after several hours of the hardest fighting that the Royal Army had seen in a while the last of the unholy trees had been vanquished.

Once more the citizens of Trinsic wish to thank those that came to aid in its defense for their valour and sacrifice in this terrible battle.




An Audience – Jolie Good Fun!
(JR)


My dear readers, once again I, Jolie, am privileged to bring you news of an exciting occasion in the Kingdom of Britannia! On Friday, the new Queen Dawn presented herself publicly to hear the petitions of we who are citizens of Britannia. I am sad to see that the Queen has not yet chosen to listen to my advice regarding her dress, and this was recognised by the very first question!

A young woman with a strange way of speech (I believe from the primitive cult of the Yew church) asked the Queen why she did not dress in a more appropriate manner. I suspect that she did not mean this question in the way in which most people would have asked, but it was of no matter, as the Queen did not seem even to understand the point of the question. Alas, this makes me to think that she truly lacks the appreciation of the importance of fashion and appearance. This, as a noble of the realm, she so clearly needs. I will not yet sigh in despair, but live in the hope that one day she will listen to one who is an expert in such matters.

The questions then turned to more mundane things, with a request from Traveler to dispose of the so-revolting rotting corpse of the former King, which lies still outside the castle doors. This cannot but be an improvement to the general ambience, and the Queen said that she would see to it. Politics was next, with a question from Stewan regarding the status of Nathan Hawke, who it seems is meddling with things from the realms of necromancy. However, as our own dear Duke is supporting him in this, one must not question it too closely! It is the case that the Queen seems not to know much about what he is doing, so we will wait to see the outcomes of Nathan’s actions and her talks with him.

It was our Duke who brought up the next questions, again on purely political matters. Essentially there is nothing to report as the Queen spoke but gave no answers. Truly, dear readers, I do wonder sometimes why politicians even bother to talk, since so often they actually do not produce any remarks of substance!

Next was the cheeky young Watchman Samuel, who asked the Queen for a date! Confidently I expected her to call for the guards and have him thrown in prison for such impertinence, but not only did this not happen, she invited him to dinner at the Castle! This is a most interesting development, and I hope that the Beacon will be able to secure an interview with Samuel afterwards!

One NoKa then stepped up to announce the residence of himself and some fellow adventurers newly returned to Britannia and requested official recognition. They have helped Trinsic and will no doubt assist all of Britannia in the fighting of evil, so shortly I am sure they may get the recognition they deserve.

Following this, Tane Darkbane, a most noble gentleman, also requested official recognition but for the notable valor of the Bloodguard, who have been in the forefront of all such enterprises on behalf of Britannia for many years. This is most sincerely supported by the Beacon and it is to be hoped that the Queen will find it in her heart and will to do something.

Finally a man dressed rather blindingly in white – perhaps from the same school of fashion as our Queen – asked for more things to collect. It was suggested to him that he earn such things by joining the Bloodguard or otherwise fighting for Britannia, a most sensible answer and one of which I hope he will take careful note!

With that, the Queen declared this first audience at an end, and we are left to hope that we will soon have another one. Perhaps she may even choose to dress in something a little less garish!

A bientôt mes amis!





And Another Audience
(PLC)


Apparently the Queen enjoys her audiences, seeing how she called for a second one. Her first topic this time was the announcement of an update to the royal maps. We meant to report this, but frankly, we are just as confused as everybody else. Did the Queen misplace a city or two? Are villages appearing where there had been none lately? Is this a test to see who did not pay their tax? Anyway, if you happen to live in a city that nobody else knows so far, let the royal mapmakers know. Or find a good therapist. Details to follow… hopefully with an explanation or two.

Second topic of the night was the fate of the late (and ripe) Casca, who so far continued his olfactory conquest of the City of Britain. By command of her Majesty, the body has been removed from its rotting place in the palace gardens, with the intent to have it buried in the graveyard of Britain. However, this practical approach met great resistance from the gathered audience, which argued strongly for a method that would prevent any attempts at raising the unloved ex-king from his well-deserved rest. In a loud and mostly pointless discussion the suggestions ranged from practical solutions, such as a burning, to volcanoes and bizarre rituals that the templars believe necessary. The Beacon itself fails to see the problem. Since the dignity of the corpse is not truly a problem after the world had seen him rot for half a year in the palace gardens, one would think that simply throwing the remains on a pyre would be easily done to quell the fears of the citizens.



Feuilleton



The Hor(r)o(r)scope for October
(by Cassandre d'Troi)


A general warning for all this month and next: beware of Trinsic! I see most dire signs and portents for the whole city. Selcius, the highest eminence of the astrological world, agrees with me for once.

January - Dontfear (the Reaper)
The colour blue is not a good one for you this month. Don’t go swimming, or sit outside on clear sunny days, and don’t wear or use anything made of valorite or flax. That way lies madness. Friends and family will rally round to support you, however, so it’s not all bad news.

February - Vlad (the Vampire Bat)
If you survived the Christmas party you went to (I hope you avoided the cake), you can look forward to a month of intensely boring gloom. This may be broken when you discover an ancient alcoholic recipe in the gargoyle city of Ter Mur; however, you will consequently not remember any of the excitement. Or the recipe.

March - Frosty (the Snow Elemental)
This should be quite a good month for you, as those born under this star have a natural affinity with frost and ice, so being snowed in and starving for three weeks should not bother you too much. An unusual planetary conjunction is suggestive of drowning, however, so be careful when it all thaws.

April - Shrek (the Ogre)
It really would be best this month to concentrate very hard on containing unruly emotions. There will be many demands on you from friends and acquaintances, and you will need all your wits about you. Forget about trying to have a love life; the stars are not scheduled to work out in your favour for at least the next 50 years.

May - Mat (the Daemon)
This month will see you achieve total harmony with nature. Birds, plants, and cute fluffy things will greet you at every step. Sadly, this specifically includes chickens, phoenixes, corpsers, mongbats, hiryu, boura, and pixies, thus ruling out safe and peaceful travel to pretty much everywhere. Stay at home.

June - Ming (the Mongbat)
If you made it back home after your Delucian adventure, you can look forward to getting stuck in a major cart jam on the new Vesper ring road at the end of the month. This will last for several days, and frankly, Vesper is not a good place to get stuck. Unless you like mud, rotting fish, and being insulted all the time.

July - Leon (the Sphynx)
Beware of carrots this month. And don’t go near any rabbits.

August - Fead (the Troll)
Living up to expectations is sometimes very hard, both for you and for those from whom you are expecting something. You are likely to be let down very badly this month, and it would be best to avoid making too many plans beyond that hunting trip you have planned with friends, as you probably won’t be coming back.

September - Deck (the Ant Lion)
Your house will be overrun by alligators, bog things, plague beasts and slimes this month, when a bunch of them decide they want a holiday away from the swamps. I am afraid this will lead to considerable expense in redecoration and refurbishment after they leave, although dead slimes, once thoroughly dried, can make quite a good carpet substitute.

October - Whisky (the Rat)
Alas, the stars really have it in for you this month. Everything you touch is likely to go very horribly wrong, and I urge you to reconsider all your plans very carefully. In particular, anything involving gargoyles isn’t going to work, and I wouldn’t want you to be responsible for starting a war.

November - Puff (the Magic Dragon)
I see dead people. Unfortunately, this includes you. However, ‘life’ as a wraith is not all bad, as you will be able to use the recall spell for free to go and visit all your friends. But they will either not see you or not want to see you, so do not expect to enjoy the experience. I recommend trying to find a good necromancer instead.

December - Theseus (the Minotaur)
After the wreckage of last month, this month will have to be spent in repairs. Sadly you are unlikely to get the time, as you will have to cope with many demands, particularly from all the people whose property you destroyed who now want to sue you.
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Wednesday, 21st Day of April




A Burning Grave
(PLC)


Strange happenings occured in Yew on Sunday night. While there are plenty of (probably tasteless) jokes about how Yew can drive about everything mad, we would not have expected the very trees to turn crazy and assault the local citizenry. In addition, hordes of maddened dryads began to run wild amongst them, spreading further havoc.

At the same time, a group of rangers had been trapped within the crypts, unable to leave due to fire and magical fields blocking the entrance. When the members of the yewish militia and the royal guard arrived, those flames were just beginning to spread, soon developing into an inferno of fire, burning trees and fiery elemantals threatening to set the whole forest alight. However, working together the loyalist forces quickly dispatched the burning elementals and forced their way into the crypts to rescue the remaining rangers.

So far, the connection between maddened dryads, attacking trees and walls of fire remains secret and obscure. Potentially it is another trick of the woman that haunts Trinsic and revived Mericles.




Noble Visitors
(ELE)


There has been much speculation about the rapidly deteriorating relationship between Trinsic and Skara Brae, not helped by Comte Emile Lampet hiring a bunch of brigands to assassinate the Duke. The Comte currently languishes in Trinsic jail, and there is no word on his release. When asked, the Duke remained tight lipped, commenting only that investigations are ongoing and they hope to return the Comte to Skara Brae soon. It is known to the Beacon that a number of visits to Skara Brae and the surrounding areas have taken place, but no reports have been forthcoming.



Of Cursed Gems and Pearls
(PLC)


Due to popular request from our readers the Beacon has made some inquiries as to the fate of the cursed diamond that was used against the orcs several months ago. A statement from the Duke's office claims that the gem was indeed destroyed as promised, by (at the time paladin) Emre Khaldun.


According to the report, the gem was disposed of in a volcano in the tokunese sea; a perilous adventure which apparently nearly led to the destruction of the delivering paladin himself, when his boat caught fire from a small lava stream.

Lady Kendra however, by now the Realm's most popular treasurer of cursed items, now has the cursed pearl from Trinsic in her possession. It is assumed that this pearl, which appeared alongside the lich's first plague, is indeed the item that channels the powers of the curse to manifest inside the walls of Trinsic. A speaker from the magical branch of the soon-to-be-founded Academy of Trinsic confirmed that the magical protection, which wards the city against travelling spells, might make such a channelling item necessary in order to trigger an effect within the barrier. However while the City Watch reports no further manifestations of the lich's curse, the plague of apes remains, potentially fuelled by tourists feeding the animals.




Royal Britannian Writing Contest!
(PLC)




Click here for more information...




Trinsic Academy Founded
(PLC)


Last Sunday saw the first meeting of a group of honoured and reputable Trinsic Citizens coming together to lay the foundations for the Trinsic Academy, a future centre of learning and knowledge. A speaker of the Academy told us that there will be a basic structure with three branches, namely science, magic and combat. Together, we have been promised a busy schedule with a wealth of different lectures and events, starting this very Sunday with the initial opening lecture held by Master Rastiano.



Quickly Noted
(PLC)


After a long time as Captain of the Trinsic City Watch, Dawn retired to settle down with her husband Kadul to spend more time with him and and to build a family. The Trinsic Beacon thanks Captain Dawn for her dedication to the Duchy and its citizens and wishes her and her family all the best in the future.

Nathan Hawke has been asked to investigate the death of rangers in the crypts of Yew. A public meeting will be held on Thursday, 22nd April on 8pm Britannian Standard Time to further discuss the happenings of that day.


With a magnificent garden party, only slightly interrupted by a strange pixie and a stolen statue from Zento, Duke Irvyn of Trinsic officially dedicated the garden of his new mansion, Dukesbridge House, to the public. Situated right on the road from Trinsic West Gate to the public moongate it offers rest and respite to weary travellers, and a place of peace for anyone who wishes to visit it.

Rumour also has it that during said party a severed head was found along with a blackmail note. The watchmen on duty only explained that the threat in the note would be a fake and that the case was consecutively closed.



Feuilleton



Brightly Coloured Fun at the Carnival
(Jolie Richesse)


Dear readers, I attended briefly the Spring Carnival in Vesper, with his Grace the Duke and some of the guards. Our so beautiful Mayor Gwen was there also, but not much in evidence, no doubt spending time with Escaflowne secretly! Is it not true that Spring is the time of lovers? Of course, it is hard to forgive Escaflowne for upstaging our Duke at his own party, but nevertheless his proposal to Gwen was a moment of the most dramatic and touching! We must all offer to them our sincere congratulations and wish for happiness in the dark days ahead!

But back to the carnival! Alas, I regret to say that the Vesperians have no sense of colour or style still, and it sadly seems to me most unlikely that they might develop this. The best one can say is that it was of a cheerful appearance, like a child's first attempt with a paintbox, perhaps.


Nevertheless there was much to eat and drink, and many games to play, also a fishing contest and a fortune teller. Perhaps of the entertainments on offer the most unusual was a zoo. This was to Hanse a thing of pride, about which he made great boasts. The beasts on show were a talking ettin, a one-eyed giant in purple, a scarlet spider woman, and a green ogre by name Barney. (The ettin at one point escaped, menacing the Chancellor Van, but thanks to swift action from the Duchy guards, Van was saved - the wisdom of this may be judged by you, my readers! The beast was soon returned to its cage and the carnival could continue in peace.)

After much revelry, the gladiatorial contest was to start, and all trooped off to the arena. But, alas, I cannot tell you who won. After hearing the winner of the dandy contest (which was Frost, in a so astonishing combination of pink and white, resembling an ice-cream - one can only wonder at the strangeness of Vesperian women), I decided that it was to the best that I retired instead for my nightly beauty regimen. Remember, mes amis, one does not attain elegance simply by existing, one must work at it! Something the Vesperians, alas, do not seem to have grasped. Or, perhaps, have just not succeeded yet!

A bientôt mes amis!




The Hor(r)o(r)scope for April
(by Cassandre d'Troi)


April - Shrek (the Ogre)
Spring is in the air, and buds of romance are breaking all around you, but sadly not for you. All the lucky stars seem to have moved out of your sign, and your love life will be more like a three year old piece of dead wood or maybe a broken bark fragment.

May - Mat (the Daemon)
Very little is promised this month, by stars, moons, planets or anything else. In fact you will be overwhelmed by the mind-numbing tedium of your life and feel quite suicidal by the last week. Try to resist this, however, as there is always the hope that things may brighten up.

June - Ming (the Mongbat)
A roving band of goblins from the abyss will arrive in your house this month, guided by their own bright particular stars. Whilst this initially may seem quite interesting, interest will rapidly turn to disgust, as goblins are rarely well housetrained and this bunch are no exception. Start saving now for the cleaning bills.

July - Leon (the Sphynx)
Stay away from giant toads this month, and don’t eat anything coloured green.

August - Fead (the Troll)
Spring is springing this month, but not for you, as your garden is too badly overgrown because you didn’t do any tidying up or cutting back over Autumn and Winter. Instead, you will find a large number of jungle creatures deciding to migrate to the haven of your wilderness.

September - Deck (the Ant Lion)
Several terrifying encounters with spiders this month will leave you with something of a phobia. This is not connected with the usual giant spiders, frost spiders, black widows, etc, all of which will leave you in peace. It’s the hairy-legged ones about the size of your hand which have set up a rapidly-expanding colony under your bed.

October - Whisky (the Rat)
The planetary conjunctions with the moons this month are saying a lot about danger from fire. Probably cooking fires and camp fires are all right, but it would be best not to visit Yew, particularly those of you with Elvish blood, or anyone who owns a pack llama.

November - Puff (the Magic Dragon)
The stars are generally pretty good for you this month, and will lead you into a relaxed and happy attitude. However, around the middle of the month you will need to visit an armourer and weaponsmith after a series of unfortunate events whilst out hunting. Be alert: they will sense your free and easy mood and try to rip you off.

December - Theseus (the Minotaur)
Spring is a time of new beginnings, new hopes, and so on and so forth. It would be a good idea this month for you to spring-clean your life and start again. Move somewhere a long way away so the neighbours can’t rat on you.

January - Dontfear (the Reaper)
There will be attacks on you from all sides this month, whether relatives, friends, employers, or pets. Most will be relatively benign, or at least not actually fatal. But, although you are very proud of your greater dragon, it would really be safest to leave him in the stable this month.

February - Vlad (the Vampire Bat)
Exotic locations and unusual events are yours for the taking this month, as the stars promise a world of excitement and new places. All of them are highly dangerous, however, so it might be best to turn down any invitations such as to tea with the gargoyle queen.

March - Frosty (the Snow Elemental)
Possibly you did something to offend the fates recently, but not that badly, as this month the planetary conjunctions suggest the development of a series of non-fatal but painful and/or embarrassing conditions such as haemorrhoids, facial rashes, and a large carbuncle on your nose. Invest in a mask and a soft pillow.


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