A Dog's Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!



A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the
stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty I
was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with
them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.

ha I love this one

Hehe yeah.

Now I'm wondering what Jelly thinks everytime I go home, or the weekends when he's alone at my desk here at work.