Remember who you are!

A quest of Virtue is what I remember calling it, possibly hiding a sub-conscious feeling that this was not about Virtue at all, but regardless it was my reasons for leaving and also the reason for my return. Truth be told, I never felt that I was welcome in the Hospitaller, their beliefs in Virtue were questionable, they called themselves Knights, but all I saw was Military Rabble. Perhaps I did not give them the truth of view that they deserved. Tabbitha, Lauranthalas, Meliadoul, Kaelith and Morgana were the only people that I could truthfully turn to and call Knights.

I swore an oath many long years ago to follow the Eight Virtues in the way that the Elders had requested. I swore an oath to uphold Lord Ethens values and defend that which he loved most. I swore an oath to Lord Samour that I would stand by my Order regardless of what the world threw at me. I have failed them at every turn. I failed my mentor, I failed my students, but one student has always given me hope. Standing on the verge of mental collapse, Lauranthalas guided me back to the Virtues that I had taught her about so many years ago, but the Virtues that guided the Hospitaller were not my Virtues. This is why I had to leave.

My Virtues were not created to tilt the balance in favour of the forces of Order, it was about Balance, and that is where I felt the misconceptions consumed nearly every Virtue following soul in our world. I took my beliefs, and left in search of the truth of my past and return knowing that it was not in vain. The Virtues teach us so many things and the path to balance for our daily lives, but tilted in the wrong direction, the Virtues become an instrument of destruction and evil. Lady Crystal Steele displayed this act, by turning on her own students, by slaughtering them in cold blood. Ever since I pushed my blade into her stomach I have questioned my beliefs.

On my journey, I turned to evils, which I thought un-imaginable to a Knight of the Virturi. I found that the only way to protect the Virtues was to break them. Against their will, I lied, I stole and I even murdered to see that the Virtues would prevail, but I could feel that it was not enough to satisfy. I could not challenge the whole world. I sought refuge and went into hiding for some time, trying to cure my mind from the clouded judgments that flowed through. I began to have dreams of my past, remembering of the times before the Virturi Massacre, when all of my old friends were together, when the Order stood as a shining beacon of hope in this dark and decaying world. My dreams got darker as I remembered the horrendous actions of madmen and the eventual turn of Crystal and the acts that she did.

One night, I awoke to find a vision of Crystal standing before my bed, asking me to follow her into the forest. We eventually arrived at the ruins of the Virturi Temple where she disappeared. I looked at the shattered stone walls, the torn paintings of old Knights, the rusted swords and broken staves that littered the floor. After reminiscing for nearly an hour into the night, I found a sheet of parchment, once in a frame that had now smashed open, the Virturi Code that I had once pledged myself too. I read through it, over and over, the words haunting my mind, but one line in particular, at the bottom continued to echo even after I had finished reading. “Remember who you are!”

Maybe that’s all I needed, something to remind me of my past. I returned to the Inn and gathered my belongings together, before heading home. It would take some to truly remind myself, but I would no longer stand as an instrument of madness and chaos. I choose Balance and Virtue.